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Formby
United Kingdom
246 Posts |
 Posted - 20 Mar 2006 : 13:30:56
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Ok, having been in Gambia a month over xmas I can't begin to tell you how annoying the constatnt pestering from Gambian men is. It didn't take me long to learn how to just ignore them, cut them off, slam doors in their face, anything just to get them to go away. Normally I would consider this rude but was driven to it by the constant pestering. Why would I want to marry someone within 2 minutes of talking to them? Yes, even waiters etc when yo're just trying to have a quiet breakfast or drink, CONSTANT PESTERING, and it's extremely annoying. Not to mention lacking in any sort of dignity.
Makles me laugh the amount of hand-wringing that goes on here about women sex tourists. I don't like the sight of it either, old women with their young men, but I get the sense that these women stay relatively faithful to one. Old white men, on the other hand, come to fill their boots and they're of an age when they won't use condoms so who is creating the bigger risk to the spread of STDs? Hmm? I was staying in an English bar which, I soon realised, was pretty much a knocking shop. One bloke boasted of 18 girlfriends, the other boasted loudly of how he could get a BJ for a bottle of cocktail.
That to me is more disgusting than a 50 year old woman with a 20 year old boy. So why isn't there more criticism of the the old toubab men? Don't bother answering, I know why. |
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 20 Mar 2006 : 13:52:43
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Because statistics say that Gambia/the Carribean are the destinations for mainly female sextourists?
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Formby
United Kingdom
246 Posts |
Posted - 20 Mar 2006 : 14:18:17
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But DIRECT EXPERIENCE says that there're just as many men at it.
Anyway, those sources do not appear to me to say MAINLY female sex tourists, merely 'female tourists'. And if they do they're wrong. There is at least equivalence, and the sort of attitudes men take are worse in terms of social destruction (18 partners, all being used for sex, without condoms. You don't have to be too bright to anticipate the consequences)
Oh and I've never seen a bunch of young Gambian men who may've been 'selling it' made to walk the streets in public picking litter, yet it's not uncommon to see their female equivalent being shepherded along by some army type with a big stick. |
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trouble1317
United Kingdom
12 Posts |
Posted - 20 Mar 2006 : 14:32:02
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You know some of the women are just vunerable lonely women..who suddenly get all this attention..
First time in gambia especially vunerable, but where do you draw the line on prostition... some women yep they obliviously so niave and actually believe they have found true love, but this only accounts for a small percentage.
what about the 50's + with their twenty year old toyboys?
they know exactly what there doing....they cannot honestly believe that they have a solid relationship....Do you think the sun is too blame lol...
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trouble1317
United Kingdom
12 Posts |
Posted - 20 Mar 2006 : 14:34:31
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| Anna.... Amsterdam is a lovely place, but it attracts un desirables. |
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 20 Mar 2006 : 15:51:45
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I think the female sexbuyers too often are excused as naive and not to be blamed because it is the boys/men who give them constant attention.
If they donīt fancy the attention, why do they return year after year when they find the men so offensive?
I donīt buy that.
The women should not get away with it so easy, the Swedish women get away with crime basically since it is against the law in my country to buy sex.
I think they should be held responsible for what they do in foreign countries, naive or not. These women make it possible for the prostitution to continue. If there were no buyers there wouldnīt be any business.
(The line for prostitution is drawn when somebody pays another one for sex, even if the payment lasts during a week or two and the sex accours only once.)
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bamba
Sweden
401 Posts |
Posted - 20 Mar 2006 : 15:57:24
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| Babylon, cam on!! The extreme heat in some countries can cause temporal blindnss (ha, ha, ha). Evidently, some tourist, under temporal blindess, need a guide/guides to lead them to the bedroom (ha, ha, ha). It's always fun to read from you Babylon. |
Bamba |
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 20 Mar 2006 : 15:59:43
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Men too for that matter, but the women in this case are in majority.
As the saying goes, western women go to Africa Men to Asia... |
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 20 Mar 2006 : 16:01:57
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quote:
Originally posted by bamba
The extreme heat in some countries can cause temporal blindnss (ha, ha, ha). Evidently, some tourist, under temporal blindess, need a guide/guides to lead them to the bedroom (ha, ha, ha).
 yeah...obviously! |
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Formby
United Kingdom
246 Posts |
Posted - 20 Mar 2006 : 16:53:48
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babylon you can't have been to the Gambia for some years. The male eurpoean looking for the easy young african girls is more prominent now that the old woman with her little boy. If you have been recently I suspect that you excuse men for it because 'that's what men do' and you don't expect any better of them, which is why you can't see it.
Tell me, do you have any direct knowledge of a toubab woman with 18 young boys on the go? Or any who laughingly shout on in public about how they can have sexual services for the price of a bottle of soft drink? |
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bamba
Sweden
401 Posts |
Posted - 20 Mar 2006 : 17:12:46
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| Formby, feminism is not the core issue here. The issue is tourists from affluent societies exploiting the vulnerability of the poor, be them men or women. One is not expected to kick a weakly already lying on the ground, or? |
Bamba |
Edited by - bamba on 20 Mar 2006 17:14:11 |
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Formby
United Kingdom
246 Posts |
Posted - 20 Mar 2006 : 17:29:16
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Bamba then why is Babylon so insistent on drawing a difference? It is that point I am contending.
It's a moot point who is exploiting whom too. Your analagy of kicking weaklings on the ground in my experience goes both ways. Plenty are poor and retain their dignity. The fact that some don't is not a poverty issue but a personal standard of conduct one. If someone wants to spend their time begging women to marry them after exchanging one or two words, at least call the behaviour what it is.
Or are you another one who assumes Africans can't be expected to have high standards of moral dignity? I hate that attitude. |
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 20 Mar 2006 : 17:31:13
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Formby, thatīs right actually  . I havenīt been to Gambia for a cupple of years now. Planning to go with my kids in the end of this year to go and see their grandma, uncles, aunties and cousins.
So are things that different nowadays? Wow, times are getting harder.
Iīm not defending anyone who buy another human being. It is wrong and people who do it are bad to the bone, male or female.
I do know of some girls who have a rumour of changing men like undies and seem proud of it too, unfortunately that is rather common especially among women who are into black men. None friends of mine tho.
They often do it by own free will however (or are sex addicts), while jobless young men in poor countries often donīt have much other choise than to chase skirts/shorts all day and night for an income or best of all; a ticket to the west.
Not saying that itīs the right thing to do. Absolutely not. Selling your body is the lowest lowest thing a human being can do.
But westerners should definitly not take advantage of poverty like that. |
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moongarden
United Kingdom
38 Posts |
Posted - 20 Mar 2006 : 17:33:38
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quote:
Originally posted by akem0
Why do you refer to Gambians as LOCALS? Do you travel to other western countries and call people who live there LOCALS? Do you refer to your countrymen as Locals in your own country?
Hi akem0 - if i may answer your questions, in the UK it is not insulting to call someone a local - it is simply meant to describe a person as living in the place being described. for example i am a local in newcastle - people from other places when visiting my home town would call me a local - it just means to me that i am from that place.
It can be said that a person has "local knowledge" meaning that if a visitor to that place is looking for something such as a mobile phone shop the local person will use their knowledge to put the visitor on the right path.
I am sure that this was not meant to be an insult.
quote:
Originally posted by anna
Furthermore i would like you all to know that i regret finding this topic on the Bantaba. I am fed up with this discussion, it was one of the reasons that i 'fled' from the Dutch Gambia-forum.
Anna I am sad that you would keep away from the discussion of such a serious problem especially an issue which can only hope to be reduced by being recognised as a problem and trying to have thoughts and ideas to reduce and prevent it.
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Formby
United Kingdom
246 Posts |
Posted - 20 Mar 2006 : 17:37:09
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Babylon I couldn't bring myself to do it either. I had a Gambian boyf but he was a little older than me and we'd been mates for years before anything happened. Cultural differences got between us in the end.
You WILL see the vastly increased evidence of male sex tourists. I know what you mean, it didn't used to be so obvious. It is now, I'm sorry to say. And these are not the sad old types who thinks that someone 30 years younger actually loves them, they are sex tourists plain and simple. What worries me most is that (from what they've said to me and from what I know about men anyway) they don't use condoms. Maybe the women don't either but at least they don't have 18 on the go. |
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