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bamba
Sweden
401 Posts |
 Posted - 20 Apr 2006 : 10:12:59
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Is deceit in love relationship, apart from the poverty necessitated ones, a behavioural defect or should it be seen as a feature in human nature? Of course, there is also greed-based infidelity. The type of infidelity I want to focus on in this piece is the one that doesn’t have poverty as a backdrop. Am referring to the infidelity that is engendered by what many experts in love relationship have many theories about. The infidelity that has its cause in the perpetrators morbid sexual drive and abnormal behaviour. The one that doesn’t yield any material or financial dividends, the one solely for the pleasure of the flesh. Personally, am constantly confounded and bemused by this kind of infidelity, and I would pretty much like to hear others perspective on this issue.
The poverty engendered infidelity, i.e. if the unfaithful happen to be in any form of pair relationship, can be seen as a mechanism for survival. This type, synonymous with prostitution, needs improved socio-economic structures to alleviate it. In those part of the world where economic growth is a dream, poverty engendered infidelity becomes the order of the day. The greed related infidelity is another dimension that has negative ambition as its cause. Whatever the cause of infidelity may be, they all have a common denominator. They all expose how unreliable human beings are; they all expose the fragility of human nature, the wavering nature of human character. Infidelity is a human behaviour that calls for a sagacity-based studies and specialized knowledge. I do lack both; therefore, this piece should be seen as an unspecialized one in this issue. Who knows, maybe this piece will urge experts in this issue to write a line or two.
The rapidly growing digital television, soon in every household, has two channels with programme dedicated solely on infidelity. The programme designated "CHEATERS" is presented in Club’s TV channel and on Reality TV channel all days of the week." Cheaters" is an American TV programme in Dallas, Texas. Believe it or not, I do watch Cheaters everyday, even the repeat programmes as most of them are. Am so fascinated by the didactic effects of cheaters that I can hardly have enough of the programme. With the help of modern electronic gadgets, the programme exposes those cheating on their partners. This aspect of human relationship that the programme deals with is probably the most mysterious and most complicated of all other forms of human relationships. It can, furthermore, be said to be the most unreliable of all human relations.
The lessons from the TV programme "cheaters" are many and very confusing. Personally, am constantly flabbergasted every time I watch cheaters, and I watch it daily. Some obscure and strange reasons why some men/women cheat on their partners will never stop to amaze me. Some partners unemployed and totally dependent on their other partners for their livelihood, yet cheat on them. Loneliness at home while their partners are at work is mostly the reason for cheating on their partners. The partners at work to earn money to feed the cheaters they left at home, very strange indeed. The programme reveals how a smooth sailing relationship can be transformed, instantaneously, into an extremely hateful one. It also reveals how partners that pledged to live with each other all through can, under the poison of infidelity, break their vows violently. The programme teaches that cheating on partners is not only a heterosexual mal-behaviour but homosexual alike. Infidelity can be seen as one of human beings many abnormal behaviours. Infact every human being has some form of abnormality or madness. No man/woman is fully normal.
For free of charge, an advertisement piece for the programme "cheaters", though no-one asked me to. Please watch it if you have access to both club and reality TV channels. But let me warn you, the programmes can make you develop prejudice for love relationship. Please don’t, there may be wonderful and honest partners waiting for you out there.
Bamba.
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Bamba |
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 20 Apr 2006 : 10:54:49
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Trailor trash tv from USA is not the information to use to form your judgement of human nature.  Most people are 'better' than this. You must believe this or we might as well give up now!!!
In an ideal world I believe that most people aspire to be faithful and good to their partner. Most people when they marry want it to last forever. The realities of life somehow get in the way.  |
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 20 Apr 2006 : 10:57:12
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Perhaps you should watch a romantic comedy film to counteract the effect of this america tv????  |
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twinkly
United Kingdom
190 Posts |
Posted - 20 Apr 2006 : 11:18:32
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Well, Cheater IS reality tv, so it is real Gambiabev, whether we like it or not.
It is the sad truth that our society doesn't take these values serious anymore.(This is one of the main reasons for me to have chosen a man from a different culture )
Bamba I believe it is defenitely a behavioural problem.Lack of discipline and respect.These things do happen across the world, but not to the same extent as here in the West.
When I was a little girl, I believed in eternal love and marriage, and hoped one day I would find my perfect prince.Unfortunately, I had to grow up and the more I did, the less hope I saw in serious relationships.
Our society is going off the rails.We are too liberate, sex should be something very private and serious.Where does our society go if we carry on like this?Children having sex-having babies, parents having children with 2,3 different partners.........the world is too chuck up, it makes me scared.
I can only imagine what our african friends must think when they get to see this kind of behaviour here....
Maybe we toubabs can learn from this, and realise how many Africans see the West, no wonder many don't take us women serious, and almost expect us not to be faithful.....can we blame them? |
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bamba
Sweden
401 Posts |
Posted - 20 Apr 2006 : 11:32:52
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| One cant be prejudiced to all American TV programmes. Reality programmes are not acted. Romantic films are soap operas. U need to take a giant stride out of your dream world, Gambiabev. Is our world an ideal one? U are very lucky to live an ideal world, which planet is that? |
Bamba |
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 20 Apr 2006 : 11:37:32
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| Well i must say Bamba is right, no man is a 100 % completely normal. And I believe all MEN from whatever culture can cheat even if it is against their principles IF the time and place is right. Unfortunately. This is the human nature of a man. I don´t believe women are likely to cheat as much as men, because generally men do have a higher sexdrive than women. |
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 20 Apr 2006 : 11:37:36
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| You need ideals to try to live up to....sometimes you fail..butyou need to aim high. |
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 20 Apr 2006 : 11:42:07
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Twinkly...Gambian men have children with several women...they also have affairs, divorce their wives, abandon children....... they just dont go on reality tv to talk about it......
We in the West are told about the muslim ideal...we arent told the reality. That is kept private and secret....... only as you know people better do they trust you enough to disclose the true reality.
Believe me it is not much different to the west. Children have children in Gambia too I have met many children being raised by grandmas...at first view you would think they were the mum.
Human nature is the same the world over. religion is some societies attempt to regulate and control that nature. Marx called it an opiate...... |
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 20 Apr 2006 : 11:44:41
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| And guess what? African women cheat too... |
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 20 Apr 2006 : 11:44:44
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| Babylon what an old fashioned view of women.SWEET, but not true!! |
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 20 Apr 2006 : 11:46:50
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| This fashion is not old Gambiabev, I really do not believe women IN GENERAL have as high sexdrive as men. I don´t mean the nymphs now... |
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 20 Apr 2006 : 11:55:26
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Yes I had been told that African women do things the opposite way around to Western women......they stay pure and good before marriage........get a good match, then play the field.
In Uk we sow the wild oats and then get married and stay faithful...well thats the general idea anyway!!!
Is faithfulness considered an essential quality for a marriage to survive in Africa? In uk although alot of people fail and end up in divorces it is still considered desirable. |
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Janky
United Kingdom
92 Posts |
Posted - 20 Apr 2006 : 11:59:57
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Babylon, Why do you say that man has a higher sex drive than a woman................. I totally disagree, each individual is different.What I do believe, through my own experiences,is that a man has more of an opportunity to cheat than a women. This is because the women are normally at home taking care of the children and the men socialise more with friends.
As I said THIS is MY opinion only.
Things are changing as more women work full time and have career's and men take care of the children more. When I was younger it was mainly men that went out with friends and women stayed home with the children.
In my eyes if a man OR women is cared for,loved and respected at home by their wife/husband then they will want to stay faithful.
I watch cheaters with my husband and we both agree that if you are happy in your heart and life together then you do not need to hurt the other person.My hubby says that when his "judgement day" comes he knows he can go to Allah with a clean heart knowing that he has never hurt me or anyone in anyway. I love and respect him for that. I am not a muslim but DO believe that what he says is correct.
I am a strong believer in the saying " What goes around, comes around " |
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 20 Apr 2006 : 12:13:12
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Why I say women have a lower sexdrive? Because that´s my opinion  . I believe women are able to have more control over their behaviour and fight against temptation more than men. If a man is exposed to a tempting situation I would say he is more likely to fall for it than the woman would. I also believe that a woman who don´t have a sexlife at all is more likely to get used to it and can live without sex for a long time, which I think is impossible for a man.
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 20 Apr 2006 : 12:22:26
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| REALLY?! Poor men can't control their urges......but women can?!! You have to feel sorry for the poor things don't you? Where do they keep their brains??!! |
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 20 Apr 2006 : 12:29:34
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| hmmm... in their pants maybe? |
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