| Author |
 Topic  |
|
twinkly
United Kingdom
190 Posts |
 Posted - 12 Apr 2006 : 14:56:31
|
quote:
Originally posted by sab
...as you lead me to believe you were naïve of African culture with the bombardment of questions most days, Freedom & peace.....
Well spotted sab
And at the same time I see she has learnt a lot and taken many things on board.I have no personal contact with Gambev but what is happening here is pure "bev-bashing"and not fair.
Does every contributing member on here have join in?It's all been said in the first few replies, the rest are just repeating themselves.
Yeeeah, there is somebody being attacked, lets all join in......
I am very sad to see such aggression on this Bantaba 
|
 |
|
|
sab
United Kingdom
912 Posts |
Posted - 12 Apr 2006 : 14:58:18
|
Greetings Lizzielou, I am sure you will enjoy the bantaba and find it a minefield of information with friendly people.
Freedom & peace, regards, sab. |
The world would be a poorer place if it was peopled by children whose parents risked nothing in the cause of social justice, for fear of personal loss. (Joe Slovo - African revolutionary) |
|
|
|
babygirl
United Kingdom
89 Posts |
Posted - 12 Apr 2006 : 15:06:38
|
lizzielou proceed with caution.
This maybe ur mr right, but it may also be mr wrong. We can all act like like mr/mrs right for a week or two. but you dont get to know the real person during that week or two.
You also dont get to know someone by texting or emailing because we can all text or write sweet things to someone that doesnt mean we are telling the truth.
Remember that this is a holiday destination and there are several plane loads of tourists arriving every week and like most tourist areas you get the "players".
Also you have the added factor that some Gambians are looking for a meal ticket or a way out of Gambia which may not be the case in other tourist areas. <please dont take offense at that comment.... it is not directed at any particular person ...and i am not judging .... im just saying that it happens>
Having lived and worked in Gambia and seen alot of comings and goings the only thing I can say is .... proceed with caution
Only time will tell if Patrick is Mr Right for you. Until then enjoy the romance. It might work and it might not work. Just take your time and dont do anything u may regret if the relationship doesnt work out. |
|
|
|
jambo
3300 Posts |
Posted - 12 Apr 2006 : 15:19:55
|
twinkly, this is not Bev bashing, anyone who said that would give cause to the same replies. but she made a sweeping statement,
if she was in a room full of people I am sure there would a loud disagreement about what she has stated.
Each to their own opinion. BRING ON THE DEBATE. We can advise lizzielou, but lets us not judge all Gambia by our own bade experience as Gambiaeve has done. SHE DID NOT DATE A GAMBIAN, so she should not judged any gambian relationship until she has had one.
|
|
|
|
lizzielou
United Kingdom
36 Posts |
Posted - 12 Apr 2006 : 15:26:59
|
Thanks for your cautions babygirl. For this reason I am being cautious as there is no way I will rush into anything. I have a few years and experience on Bitish men being liars, cheats and thieves. Dave don't put that that's my first mistake, the whole meaning about what I have is the words "tied up". He knows that there is nothing coming that way.
Just enjoying the romantic ride guys....no wedding bells going off !!!
PEACE xxxx |
Elizabeth Bojang Ellis |
|
|
|
dave
Ireland
89 Posts |
Posted - 12 Apr 2006 : 16:06:01
|
quote:
Originally posted by lizzielou
Thanks for your cautions babygirl. For this reason I am being cautious as there is no way I will rush into anything. I have a few years and experience on Bitish men being liars, cheats and thieves. Dave don't put that that's my first mistake, the whole meaning about what I have is the words "tied up". He knows that there is nothing coming that way.
Just enjoying the romantic ride guys....no wedding bells going off !!!
PEACE xxxx
Im not sure what you mean Lizzie, but I agree totally with babygirl.......She talks a lot of sense here. The tactics of the "players" are as she describes. They also like to establish the wealth of their victims as soon as possible. They can then start assessing the possibilities. Im not being nasty, just trying to help.By the way I accept you may have experience of British guys being liars, cheaters etc........you havent seen the half of it in Gambia though. Just be cautious, thats all Im saying
|
|
|
|
dave
Ireland
89 Posts |
Posted - 12 Apr 2006 : 16:13:59
|
No really bad experience Salimina, but I personally know several Toubab women that have had. During my first 2/3 visits I was indeed susceptible to being ripped off in small ways, I think it happens to all first time visitors. I learned, however, and I can usually tell now when a person is genuine. The patter of the guy/girl that is looking for a quick hit is usually the same.
quote:
Originally posted by salimina
Dave you must have a bad experience with africans. Can you just tell me a gist of it?
|
|
|
|
babygirl
United Kingdom
89 Posts |
Posted - 12 Apr 2006 : 16:27:42
|
Ok ive just re read wat gambiabev has sed .... apart from asking maybe one question that was abit intrusive... i dont see what she has sed that has everyone discussing her posts... infact i think most of her points are very good valid points. She is not telling any lies or fabricating anything.
Any relationship is hard enough without having extra differences such as distance culture age etc etc
Some adults go to Gambia for sex, some go for a holiday and fall in love. Some gambians provide sex in hope of a way out, money or other reasons. Some gambians meet a holiday maker and fall in love.
my point is that sometimes its the gambian that gets used and sometimes its the european. There are good ppl and bad ppl in every society.
gambiabev did not insult anyone so i think it was unfair to insult her for her opinions, we can all only speak of our experiences wether they be good or bad.
|
|
|
|
dave
Ireland
89 Posts |
Posted - 12 Apr 2006 : 16:35:12
|
I would totally agree with your post but I feel that Gambiabevs first post WAS intrusive. We can certaintly learn more from the Bantaba and each others experiences but its a fact that Toubabs in the resort areas are targeted for exploitation. Of course some Toubabs exploit, but its generally for sex and certaintly not for love
quote:
Originally posted by babygirl
Ok ive just re read wat gambiabev has sed .... apart from asking maybe one question that was abit intrusive... i dont see what she has sed that has everyone discussing her posts... infact i think most of her points are very good valid points. She is not telling any lies or fabricating anything.
Any relationship is hard enough without having extra differences such as distance culture age etc etc
Some adults go to Gambia for sex, some go for a holiday and fall in love. Some gambians provide sex in hope of a way out, money or other reasons. Some gambians meet a holiday maker and fall in love.
my point is that sometimes its the gambian that gets used and sometimes its the european. There are good ppl and bad ppl in every society.
gambiabev did not insult anyone so i think it was unfair to insult her for her opinions, we can all only speak of our experiences wether they be good or bad.
|
|
|
|
gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 12 Apr 2006 : 16:52:17
|
I know of Gambian guys at Beach bars....putting one girl back on the plane home and then waiting for the next plane in for the next girl.......(Shirley Valentine style)Of course not all Gambian men are like that. In the villages I have met many serious minded, devout Muslims who wouldnt dream of behaving this way.
If you meet someone at the coast I would be VERY wary.
Lizzie you do need to bear in mnd that you could be a good investment to Patrick and he could play a long game. IE even though you say your investments are tied up he COULD be playing a waiting game until they are free.SORRY to be SO cynical........ but it is very difficult to know who to trust especially if love or passion are clouding the waters. My accountant advised me only to invest in Africa what I could afford to loose. At the moment that is ZERO, but I would like to get some land and have a house as a commitment to my Gambian friends that I am staying around. Perhaps one day. |
|
|
|
jambo
3300 Posts |
Posted - 12 Apr 2006 : 16:54:00
|
Babygirl, you raise good points but it was a bit direct of her to ask those questions. MY POINT IS THIS GAMBIA EVE never dated a GAMBIAN but another african natonal she met in Gambia.
regards |
|
|
|
gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 12 Apr 2006 : 16:58:47
|
Although I have seen a senegal bloke for 3 years that is over the course of 5 trips totaling 6 weeks. During that time he has been working very hard at the hotel and so our time together has been very small. I am learning about the culture, but each visit I learn more. It is fascinating to me.
Which country in West Africa someone is from doesnt seem to make much difference to the mans attitude to women.
Most African men I have met seem to feel innately superior to women and think it is their job to make the big decisions and 'guide' their wife. They disappear for hours or days or weeks without refering to their wife. She has NO control over him. He has all the power. |
|
|
|
gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 12 Apr 2006 : 17:03:07
|
| SAB, I did sort out alot of things. But I still havent managed to get my guide his visa. Also in the village I go to there are a few problems with the project. But on the whole it was a positive, good and very interesting trip. I have meet alot of very interesting people and had a bit of fun too! |
|
|
|
jambo
3300 Posts |
Posted - 12 Apr 2006 : 17:07:20
|
Gambiaeve,
Think what you said, over 3 years for a total of 6 weeks!?!?. Is that your relationship.
regards |
|
|
|
gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 12 Apr 2006 : 17:09:31
|
Yes that is it. I know it is not much time at all. That is what I am saying is the difficulty of such long distance 'relationships'. I have decided its not for me. |
|
|
|
Topic |
|
Topic Locked
