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twinkly
United Kingdom
190 Posts |
 Posted - 12 Apr 2006 : 10:16:38
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Well, I'm going to put my foot in it....
Why is everybody jumping on Gambiabev now?
If we remember the many discussions we had with her before, she never spoke of herself that she had so many men.......we advised her all on relationship issues, it sounded very different.It seems she listened very carefully to our comments and now she gets the beats for it?
Come on people be fair please!!!
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 12 Apr 2006 : 10:21:22
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| Thanks Twinkly.....it was PARTLY listening to advice to others on Bantaba that made me think a cross continent relationship was not for me. You need to be able to make a BIG leap of trust or faith. I just couldnt do that. It's sad for me and him as he is a nice guy..... |
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dave
Ireland
89 Posts |
Posted - 12 Apr 2006 : 11:11:46
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quote:
Originally posted by gambiabev
A good illustration of cultural difference is how Gambians find my questions rude...... In UK I would ask quite personal questions and NOT receive the replies I received here. . 
Dont you think, at this stage, that you could learn from your experience???......Why not try NOT to ask personal questions....it is after all a Gambian forum and not a waffle site for UK citizens . Welcome back by the way, from what......your 5th visit???? |
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dave
Ireland
89 Posts |
Posted - 12 Apr 2006 : 11:18:13
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quote:
Originally posted by gambiabev
But go in with eyes wide open.MANY marriages DONT work. The man wants a visa, or your money, or the kudos of a western wife.
wise words indeed, I totally agree with you but I also feel Lizzie should learn by her own experience |
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jambo
3300 Posts |
Posted - 12 Apr 2006 : 11:20:24
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hi there, gambiabev, I think your questions were direct and too raw. Lizzielou is new to the bantaba. Secondly I have friends that I can be direct with, but not to a stranger, where are your manners. Hang back a bit. You could ask those questions in the UK. and DEFINATELY RECEIVE THOSE ANAWERS YOUR HAVE HERE.
I did think some of your comments where a bit judgemental , he wants the kudos of a western wife, who are you to say what he wants. HAVE YOU MET HIM.
Get a gripe if she has found a soul mate so be it. YOU WILL FIND YOURS.
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 12 Apr 2006 : 11:29:22
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Hi Dave...yes 5th visit...planning 6th for November. I am just concerned for Lizzie if it was her 1st visit.....things arent always as they seem. Words are easy. I have had Gambian men tell me they love me and want to marry me in one conversation. LOL.
I hope her story has a very happy ending. But cant help being a cynic! It's a shame we have to learn from our own experiences and cant read or listen to others experiences to learn from them. But that is life!
Jambo I didnt say Lizzies man wanted the Kudos...I said many marriages dont work because of this......
I am not looking for a soul mate.... I am only recently divorced and very happy living with my daughter. Why would I go from the frying pan to the fire?????????? I am enjoying being independent and free. |
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dave
Ireland
89 Posts |
Posted - 12 Apr 2006 : 13:16:40
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quote:
Originally posted by gambiabev
I hope her story has a very happy ending. But cant help being a cynic!Im a cynic myself when I read stories like Lizzies as, although I havent met Patrick, im pretty sure what he wants. But most people who visit Gambia live and learn
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salimina
253 Posts |
Posted - 12 Apr 2006 : 13:30:38
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| your experiences cannot be a stumbling block for someone to try her chance.We live in a funny world.When it comes to relationship, the worst experience i have got was in the uk.So i think is every where.Lets just cross our fingers and hope that patrick is the one for him. |
Edited by salimina |
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jambo
3300 Posts |
Posted - 12 Apr 2006 : 13:30:43
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Gambiaeve,
Look at your posting the words I read were
MANY marriages DONT work. The man wants a visa, or your money, or the kudos of a western wife. Other people have mentioned if there is an age gap aswell, what about the issue of children. MOST Gambian men WILL want to have children. I hope it works for you Elizabeth, I really do
YOU MENTIONED KUDOS. also your man was senegalese not gambian.
If i go with a british man, he could be from wales, scotland, uk or northern ireland. think about that, you never had a relationship with a GAMBIAN male. |
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lizzielou
United Kingdom
36 Posts |
Posted - 12 Apr 2006 : 14:20:05
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Thank you for all your support, I guess I do take on board what gambiabev is trying to say. As for visa,s, money well we have no intention of Patrick coming here, he wants me over there, also visas, not sure but he is an immigration officer??? Also, he knows I have financial commitments in the UK e.g. money tied up in house and investments. I am going back in June so we can talk all these things through and see if we still want to make plans. As for the kudos of the western woman, believe me, I am proud to be with Patrick in his country and would be totally proud of introducing him to all my friends in the UK IF he ever came over.
PEACE AND LOVE TO ALL xx |
Elizabeth Bojang Ellis |
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dave
Ireland
89 Posts |
Posted - 12 Apr 2006 : 14:20:30
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YOU MENTIONED KUDOS. also your man was senegalese not gambian.
If i go with a british man, he could be from wales, scotland, uk or northern ireland. think about that, you never had a relationship with a GAMBIAN male.
[/quote]
Jambo....regarding this issue, do you really think its makes a difference whether Patrick is Senegalese or Gambian??????. Because I dont |
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dave
Ireland
89 Posts |
Posted - 12 Apr 2006 : 14:31:10
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quote:
Originally posted by lizzielou
Thank you for all your support, I guess I do take on board what gambiabev is trying to say. As for visa,s, money well we have no intention of Patrick coming here, he wants me over there, also visas, not sure but he is an immigration officer??? Also, he knows I have financial commitments in the UK e.g. money tied up in house and investments.( thats your first mistake Lizzie) I am going back in June so we can talk all these things through and see if we still want to make plans. As for the kudos of the western woman, believe me, I am proud to be with Patrick in his country and would be totally proud of introducing him to all my friends in the UK IF he ever came over.
PEACE AND LOVE TO ALL xx
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Edited by - dave on 12 Apr 2006 14:32:03 |
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salimina
253 Posts |
Posted - 12 Apr 2006 : 14:40:12
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| Dave you must have a bad experience with africans. Can you just tell me a gist of it? |
Edited by salimina |
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sab
United Kingdom
912 Posts |
Posted - 12 Apr 2006 : 14:44:43
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Well Bev, you must have been ultra cautious in your three year relationship with your Senegalese man, as you lead me to believe you were naïve of African culture with the bombardment of questions most days, managing also to throw the momentum of the bantaba out the window! That's a long time not to be familiar with the basics. Apart from the postponement of the wedding, did you get all the other outstanding things sorted?
Freedom & peace..... |
The world would be a poorer place if it was peopled by children whose parents risked nothing in the cause of social justice, for fear of personal loss. (Joe Slovo - African revolutionary) |
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serenata
Germany
1400 Posts |
Posted - 12 Apr 2006 : 14:48:22
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quote:
Originally posted by gambiabev
A good illustration of cultural difference is how Gambians find my questions rude...... In UK I would ask quite personal questions and NOT receive the replies I received here.
Gambiabev, please remember I am no Gambian. Maybe Germans have the same attitude towards intrusive questioning as Gambians. |
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