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jambo
3300 Posts |
 Posted - 12 Mar 2006 : 19:19:03
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hi there, i have travelled to gambia at least four times in the past 12 months, my project is books to schools and helping women's groups. Can anyone explain to me what has happened to the peace and love of gambia. each time i have travelled i have been helped by the son of a family i adopted Mboob. On my last trip i met with a fellow brit who wanted to help Mboob, I explained that his course at computer college would cost £67.00 , it was about 3,200 dls. he gave me the money no questions asked because he wanted to help a gambian. it was in the form of a cheque, I would pay the school's fee on my return in march, mboob was happy with this because the money would be safe. in january about the 4th he called my and asked if he could have the money as his mother wanted to buy a ram for tobaski.
i sent the money, ram was bought tobaski was celebrated. my heart is heavy and sad i have just returned from gambia and Mboob is at home with the family, not in college like we both thought. how can a mother spend a childs scholarship on a festival. If it was an emergency then it would be a different story. Last year they had no ram because they had no money. I am not happy with this mother and have told the family this. why do they block an individuals progress. Has anyone else experienced this. regards
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bamba
Sweden
401 Posts |
Posted - 12 Mar 2006 : 19:48:02
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| The family name Mboob tells me he is a wolof. Many wolof women are like that, they can spend their last butut to impress their surroundings just to plunge into poverty afterwards. There is a serious lack of sense of priority. The mum didnt seem to care jeopardizing the future of her son. |
Bamba |
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Janyanfara
Tanzania
1350 Posts |
Posted - 12 Mar 2006 : 22:00:26
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Hi
Well if what you said is to go by,you also have to be blamed.You have beem given the morney 4 his schooling(his future and his family's)and not 4 tobaski.If I were you I will not send him the morney at that time no matter what or I would inform Mboob that I will only send him the morney if the sponsor didnot mind 4 the morney to be used 4 anyother purpose other than paying 4 school.
As you might not know if you are not in the Gambia,poverty and hardship has led to millions of failures as people take pride even if that will lead to their future distruction.
Mboob bought the ram 4 his mother so that the mother will go to the people showing the ram " this is bought by my son Mboob without realising that ,that very ran will bring more hardship than the little joy of having a ram 4 tobaski latter.
If the mother didn't know the long term benefit of education and was only interested in the short term tobaski ram,Mboob should know or Mboob might not even be interested in going back to school at all.
Maybe the mother may not even know the morney was 4 education.Mboob might say to her it was given by his toubab friend as must bumsters do.I used to know a lot about the bumster sindrone .Though there are a lot of genuine ones amongst them whose parents cannot afford a day's meal much more school fees, some do'nt care about future ahead only the present.
I think you were wrong in giving the morney.If you are European,you must know the value of education you not blameless in this situation.
I would not have given the morney even if the mother herself spoke to me to give if it was given to me.
Our charity sponsors many childreen in the Gambia,but the parents know our stance so well that they don't anymore try to come 4 personal reasons,if they come to me for family feeding,I helped If I can but not from the child's school funds as I never handle that fund.That goes into an account which cannot be given until a bills from the school as to how much the child needs to pay and daily lunch is brought and signed by both the headteacher and the chairman/woman of the parents teachers comittee.
Days like tobaski,each child is given 1000Dalasis for the celebration.The administrators of this morney are non Gambian as we thought Gambians will symphatise the situations and affect the childreen's future by giving their school fees to the Parents who might use it 4 other purposes thus affecting the child'd future.As 4 tobaski,I initiated that as christian childreen receive christmas gifts here in the uk, I thought of parents also benefitting in someway would encourage them to urge the child to go to school and try make sure they ppass their exams as yearly reports are submitted to the sponsor of every child.As I thought the child may not use the whole 1000 dalasis,the rest the parents could use to add to buy food 4 the whole family 4 the tobaski(This has now been increased by the SPONSORS themselves to 1500Dalasis which is £32.00 per child.
Sometimes you haveto be tough in other to help Africans.
Thank you for your concern 4 us any way because some of our own Africans ask 4 donations 4 poor peopleswhile they iuse such charity mornies 4 personal use.This has even made help so difficult than any thing.Thats why I like you heading...GREED!
Peace
Mankajang Janyanfara |
Edited by - Janyanfara on 12 Mar 2006 22:17:03 |
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dave
Ireland
89 Posts |
Posted - 13 Mar 2006 : 00:15:53
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Its called short term need to keep up with the Jones and its based on pride and tradition. My advice is to deal directly with the school or just be prepared for further let down. After a while you get used to it. Sorry all if I sound cynical but its just the way it is-) |
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dave
Ireland
89 Posts |
Posted - 13 Mar 2006 : 00:23:30
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Mankajang
would it be possible to find out more about your charity please??
quote:
Our charity sponsors many childreen in the Gambia,but the parents know our stance so well that they don't anymore try to come 4 personal reasons,if they come to me for family feeding,I helped If I can but not from the child's school funds as I never handle that fund.That goes into an account which cannot be given until a bills from the school as to how much the child needs to pay and daily lunch is brought and signed by both the headteacher and the chairman/woman of the parents teachers comittee.
Days like tobaski,each child is given 1000Dalasis for the celebration.The administrators of this morney are non Gambian as we thought Gambians will symphatise the situations and affect the childreen's future by giving their school fees to the Parents who might use it 4 other purposes thus affecting the child'd future.As 4 tobaski,I initiated that as christian childreen receive christmas gifts here in the uk, I thought of parents also benefitting in someway would encourage them to urge the child to go to school and try make sure they ppass their exams as yearly reports are submitted to the sponsor of every child.As I thought the child may not use the whole 1000 dalasis,the rest the parents could use to add to buy food 4 the whole family 4 the tobaski(This has now been increased by the SPONSORS themselves to 1500Dalasis which is £32.00 per child.
Sometimes you haveto be tough in other to help Africans.
Thank you for your concern 4 us any way because some of our own Africans ask 4 donations 4 poor peopleswhile they iuse such charity mornies 4 personal use.This has even made help so difficult than any thing.Thats why I like you heading...GREED!
Peace
Mankajang Janyanfara
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 13 Mar 2006 : 08:11:38
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I am in direct contact twice a year with the children I spnsor and their families. I hand over the money personally or if that is not possible my guide takes it later.
We discuss the importance of education and I look at the reports. If there is pood attendance I wouldnt give the money.
I think there is mutual respect and friendship.
It is important that what the money is for is clearly stated when it is given. Then there can be no misundertsanding.
Some people I give a little money in friendship, just to help make life a little easier that month. There are no strings attached to that money and I know for a fact it will be spent on food...rice mainly. If you are poor that will always be the priority.
I once gave money for a RAM......for my guides family. They only ever had a goat.......his dad was getting old and he said for his father it would be very important and make him very happy. So I did it ONCE. I wont do it again for them. It is not my role. But it helped seal my friendship with the family.
We need to respect what is important for local people and NOT force our judgement on them.
For example I dont value school uniforms..... but the nursery I help were desperate to have uniform. It was always top of the list of requests. So I gave them what they thought was important instead of imposing my view.
Mankajang I would love to hear more about your charity. You can email me direct at dearnleyfamily@hotmail.com if you dont want to disclose your id online.
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 13 Mar 2006 : 08:15:06
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Bamba
You say the name Mboob sounds Wolof...... Then you go on to make an outrageous generalisation of Wolof women. If I had done that as a white person I would have been accused of racism!!! I have had a very hard time on bantaba for stereotyping...... yet noone passes comment on yours.
Reading all your postings you seem to have a problem with women. |
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bamba
Sweden
401 Posts |
Posted - 13 Mar 2006 : 08:53:01
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Gambiabev, you need to list out all the bad i've said about women to validate your accusation. I said "many" wolof women and I have it on authority. You dont have problem with men, you are a British philanthropist/humanist travelling to Gambia, good luck. Some people think others are fools. There are different types of western tourists.
People need to sort out their problems (no-matter how harsh they may be) on the table to look for solutions. |
Bamba |
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bamba
Sweden
401 Posts |
Posted - 13 Mar 2006 : 09:26:06
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Below is an extract ( most of it) from BBC's focus on Africa not so long ago. There are different types of tourists. Bamba.
A sex tourist has been jailed indefinitely for making repeated trips to Africa to abuse poor children.
Alexander Kilpatrick, a father-of-two, will serve at least five years and four months for 17 counts of sex offences.
The 56-year-old made "harrowing" films of the abuse, said Judge Roger Chapple, at Middlesex Guildhall Crown Court.
Kilpatrick, who was banned from Africa and other sex tourism hotspots, is the first man to be jailed using laws to prosecute those who abuse abroad.
You plied them with meals, treats and alcohol and then you sexually abused them in the most appalling ways
Judge Roger Chapple
He was arrested in Milton Keynes in a mobile home he used to tour England and where he had also groomed two vulnerable youngsters and sexually assaulted them.
Judge Chapple told Kilpatrick his offences "are specimen accounts of a wider course of conduct representing a catalogue of manipulation, corruption, depravity and degradation that even these courts fortunately rarely hear.
"You took advantage of the abject poverty and the circumstances in which children in Africa and other countries find themselves.
"You plied them with meals, treats and alcohol and then you sexually abused them in the most appalling ways."
The court heard Kilpatrick transferred films of the abuse onto CD-Roms before editing them, setting them to Elvis songs, and then labelling them with his victims' names.
Importing porn
A divorcee, he was arrested in May last year when a French holidaymaker from Ghana spotted him handing out toys during his latest trip.
He was subsequently deported and flown back to Heathrow.
In the UK, Kilpatrick was accused of importing pornography and an international investigation was launched.
The internet is accounting for a lot of recognition of paedophile activity because of the nature of the internet itself
Det Sgt Nick Duffield
Further pornographic films and photographs, some downloaded from the internet, were recovered from his mobile home.
His "obsession" with filming himself as he abused children helped police identify the two youngsters he targeted in Britain.
The judge told Kilpatrick he would have to register as a sex offender for life.
Speaking outside court, Det Sgt Nick Duffield, of Scotland Yard's Paedophile Unit, said: "The internet is accounting for a lot of recognition of paedophile activity because of the nature of the internet itself."
He added that police had worked closely with agencies in the UK and in Ghana to investigate Kilpatrick's activities.
List of crimes
Paedophiles who travelled abroad to carry out their crimes would "be brought to book", he said.
Natalie Cronin, NSPCC Head of Policy and Public Affairs said the children's charity welcomed the prosecution.
"However, this legislation can only be exercised when the foreign country in question acknowledges child sexual abuse as a crime.
"The NSPCC believes the law should be extended to allow courts to prosecute UK nationals who commit sex offences against children in any country," she said.
Kilpatrick, himself a victim of child abuse, was now "deeply ashamed" of his behaviour and wished to apologise for the pain and distress he had caused, said his defence lawyer Andrew Vout.
The counts he pleaded guilty to last year included three rapes, three attempted rapes, two assaults, one assault by penetration, an offence of causing a child to engage in sexual activity, another of administering a substance with intent, two charges of taking indecent photographs of children, two of possessing them, and one of importing pornography.
They all took place between 1 October 2004 and 8 May 2005.
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twinkly
United Kingdom
190 Posts |
Posted - 13 Mar 2006 : 09:39:25
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Gambiabev
I thought Babylon would jump at the opportunity(sorry).If that judging came from me.....
This is a huge problem here.People are not allowed to speak their mind.Is it something so bad when you make a general statement about a group of people or a society?I believe it is vital to the understanding of a culture, it is not a generalisation, but rather a tool to help understand.Everybody is clever enough to understand that not every single person is the same.
Please contribute more about this topic,it is very interessting, unfortunately I have to admit, that I have no experience with charities.So I will keep quiet now and learn from future postings. |
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 13 Mar 2006 : 09:50:53
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Good morning Twinkly! Damala nop too!
I´m glad you seem to think of me each and everyday. |
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jambo
3300 Posts |
Posted - 13 Mar 2006 : 20:07:09
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hello, thank you for your replies, it is interesting how some people think that I am to blame, but the onus is on the student who is over 21 and an adult not to ask me for the money. It was his by right and not mine. this is not the first lesson I have learnt from sponsoring children in gambia now my project is books to schools. I have to overcome this lesson, but the family cannot ask me for any help at all and I know they are suffering because of the mother's greed,
as for the comment the mother is wolof and everything is for show, unfortunately this is not just this tribe but can be other tribes as well. it all comes down to money. I really would understand if it was for rent but just to KEEP UP WITH THE JONES, as i say my project is books for schools. I have not given up on Gambia just changed tactics. |
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 13 Mar 2006 : 20:56:40
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quote:
Originally posted by bamba
Many wolof women are like that, they can spend their last butut to impress their surroundings just to plunge into poverty afterwards.
Atleast they look good though! Gots to give em some credit for that.
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dave
Ireland
89 Posts |
Posted - 13 Mar 2006 : 22:45:36
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[quote]Originally posted by gambiabev
I am in direct contact twice a year with the children I spnsor and their families. I hand over the money personally or if that is not possible my guide takes it later. ( and probably takes his share too Bev!!!)
We discuss the importance of education and I look at the reports. If there is pood attendance I wouldnt give the money.
I think there is mutual respect and friendship.(probably just based on your money)
It is important that what the money is for is clearly stated when it is given. Then there can be no misundertsanding.(there wont be.....its just that Tobaski, end of Ramadan etc may come first and they NEED what they need)
Some people I give a little money in friendship, just to help make life a little easier that month. There are no strings attached to that money and I know for a fact it will be spent on food...rice mainly. If you are poor that will always be the priority. (I agree)
I once gave money for a RAM......for my guides family. They only ever had a goat.......his dad was getting old and he said for his father it would be very important and make him very happy. So I did it ONCE. I wont do it again for them. It is not my role. But it helped seal my friendship with the family. (Did you actually see the ram and do you really believe this SEALED your friendship)
We need to respect what is important for local people and NOT force our judgement on them. ( I have pointed that out to you before but your an idealist and naturally you will try to enforce what YOU believe to be right)
For example I dont value school uniforms..... but the nursery I help were desperate to have uniform. It was always top of the list of requests. So I gave them what they thought was important instead of imposing my view. (a good move.....parents in general will not send their kids to school without uniform, its a big shame to them...remember the Jones??)
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dave
Ireland
89 Posts |
Posted - 13 Mar 2006 : 22:47:50
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[quote]Originally posted by gambiabev
Bamba
You say the name Mboob sounds Wolof...... Then you go on to make an outrageous generalisation of Wolof women. If I had done that as a white person I would have been accused of racism!!!
Your ranting now.....its the same as saying English women like to grow roses in their gardens...or their men like mushy peas!!....Chill out |
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dave
Ireland
89 Posts |
Posted - 13 Mar 2006 : 22:51:01
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You right Babylon........they look great . There is something about how an African woman takes care of herself, it gives me shivers up the spine thinking about it. But maybe thats a discussion for another forum debate?????
Atleast they look good though! Gots to give em some credit for that.
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