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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
 Posted - 04 Mar 2006 : 15:12:30
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quote:
Originally posted by twinkly
None of these women see how much these men already bend themselves and many women just don't see or care to understand the differences between the cultures.(do I have to mention that there are good and bad everywhere?)
I have to stick up for the african men, because what I see from white women, is lack of understanding......
Which white women do you mean? Everybody?
I must say that I think you´re wrong. |
Edited by - Babylon on 04 Mar 2006 15:24:29 |
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bamba
Sweden
401 Posts |
Posted - 04 Mar 2006 : 15:45:01
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Gambiabev, I beg to differ. Discussions and arguments in a fitted framework are in line with the objectives of Bantaba.
Humour is an all-rounder that fits squarely in all Bantaba’s topics of exchanges. But when humoristic exchanges are reframed to serve other personal purposes, then humour should return to where it belongs.
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Bamba |
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twinkly
United Kingdom
190 Posts |
Posted - 04 Mar 2006 : 15:46:57
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quote:
Originally posted by twinkly
Many women don't appreciate their partner because they don't know his way of life and culture back home.To many, he doesn't adjust enough.This is because they don't know the culture and they don't see how much he changes from the way he does things at home.
If you don't know each others background quite well, it is a struggle because both have to be willing to learn and accept.
I refuse to accept that it is the bad African here in Europe who can't treat a woman right.None of these women see how much these men already bend themselves and many women just don't see or care to understand the differences between the cultures.(do I have to mention that there are good and bad everywhere?)......
I was not refering to ALL, but many.And I didn't mean you there
Could you explain why you don't agree? |
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 04 Mar 2006 : 16:03:40
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The reason why I don´t agree is that I don´t want to generalize people.
I can not agree when anyone says (not only you) that people as a group are a certain way, because I strongly believe in individuality.
I agree there are many women here who treat their African men like dirt and really disrespect them, there are women who are racist who are in relationships with black men. I have seen that happen some times and I think I´ve even wrote about it here sometime, because their behavoiur really makes me P.O d.
But just like you said before, there is good and bad everywhere. And if someone says all white women are a certain way, that will include me too -which then may give some people (who like to generalize) a wrong picture of me.
That is why I am trying to avoid all types of stereotypical thinking, because I believe it´s wrong and not healthy for anyone.
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 04 Mar 2006 : 16:23:16
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I think that one reason why I feel so strongly about not to generalize people is that I face a lot of stereotypes myself, just by being a blonde, nice looking swedish woman. There are so many people who think they know me and what I´m good for, as soon as they see me.
I´m really sick of it. But I refuse to become a brunette only because of what people may think of me. That should not be my problem everytime I leave my house.  |
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bamba
Sweden
401 Posts |
Posted - 04 Mar 2006 : 16:31:38
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Love and race are not inter-related. Love (whatever it means and how long it lasts) has a tyrannical impact on people that cherish it. Love controls and thank God is short-lived. In history, slave owners had fallen in love with their slaves. In contemporary times, some neo-nazists fall in love with some of their targets of discriminations.
Blanket condemnations----that all are the same, will never be agreeable.
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Bamba |
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 04 Mar 2006 : 16:47:27
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Bamba Bamba Bamba... I agree with some of the things you just said, except for that part "thank God it´s short lived" when you speak about love.  That did sound a little bit pessimistic. |
Edited by - Babylon on 04 Mar 2006 16:49:45 |
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bamba
Sweden
401 Posts |
Posted - 04 Mar 2006 : 17:18:14
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| Babylon, I am not pessimistic about love what so ever. But it’s a feeling that calls for mutual sustenance. When the initially wonderful part is over, the job of maintaining the rocky part, that usually follows, becomes a dual responsibility. |
Bamba |
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 04 Mar 2006 : 17:27:14
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That is true. A relationship demands a lot of work, from both sides.
Which reminds me that I have to go and work on my own relationship now, my man is starting to complain what a computer nerd I´ve become and that I spend way too much time on the Bantaba.
I think I´ll go and cook something nice for him now... |
Edited by - Babylon on 04 Mar 2006 17:35:11 |
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bamba
Sweden
401 Posts |
Posted - 04 Mar 2006 : 17:47:58
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| It works both ways. You don’t only have to appease your husband with your culinary expertise. Induce him to become a computer nerd like you. Sharing common interest is fundamental in togetherness. |
Bamba |
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kassma
334 Posts |
Posted - 04 Mar 2006 : 19:38:18
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quote:
Originally posted by bamba
It works both ways. You don’t only have to appease your husband with your culinary expertise. Induce him to become a computer nerd like you. Sharing common interest is fundamental in togetherness.
what in the world, aren't you marriaged bamba, you seem pessimistic about love and stuff of that nature |
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bamba
Sweden
401 Posts |
Posted - 04 Mar 2006 : 20:20:47
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Here we have a man who is the real master of his household and that’s were the line ends, that's the end station. You are really a funny guy kassama. What have I said to warrant such an outburst? Please read again what I wrote. I seem to like these out of the blue attacks.
If it interests you, I am not married. Any suggestion?
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twinkly
United Kingdom
190 Posts |
Posted - 04 Mar 2006 : 21:24:26
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quote:
Originally posted by bamba
When the initially wonderful part is over, the job of maintaining the rocky part, that usually follows, becomes a dual responsibility.
Bamba to your defence how can anybody not agree to this statement...
Did you mean to say that women are more emotional beings and sometimes not see the reality because of their feeling? This is very true but then again we should point out that some men don't think with their brain which makes us equal again.
Babylon, thank you for this explanation.I see what you mean now.But isn't it strange that when positive stereotypes are told, nobody is critsising them?
I don't know what to write because I don't want to upset you again, but I have to say that I find it healthy to use stereotypes to a certain extent, I just can't help myself.
You are right that we are all individuals but I belive that we all have a common ground somewhere.If I think that we are the same as Africans, then I would be denying myself the truth and ignoring the cultural differences.
Just my opinion and thoughts, please don't get offended |
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 05 Mar 2006 : 00:34:24
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quote:
Originally posted by bamba
It works both ways. You don’t only have to appease your husband with your culinary expertise. Induce him to become a computer nerd like you. Sharing common interest is fundamental in togetherness.
My honey here is not at all into computers, the only thing he thinks a computer is good for downloading music and reading news from his country. We do have lots of other common interests though (music, culture, travel, healthcare etc) and share pretty much the same values in life and also political views.
But I think it is important to have a "own life" as well on the side, I don´t think it´s a good idea to be together 24/7 but that we need our own friends and activities as well. When you miss your honey, that is one good feeling!
Well, here I am going way off topic again.
Twinkly, I think it´s my turn to appologise to you. Sometimes we may not agree and have different opinions, sometimes we may agree. But I did go too far by offending you like that. It was my mistake. Sorry about that. Please, feel free to continue have your point of view of things. Even if we don´t agree all the time, we don´t need to get so loud and direspectful the next time. |
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kassma
334 Posts |
Posted - 05 Mar 2006 : 01:30:06
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quote:
Originally posted by bamba
Here we have a man who is the real master of his household and that’s were the line ends, that's the end station. You are really a funny guy kassama. What have I said to warrant such an outburst? Please read again what I wrote. I seem to like these out of the blue attacks.
If it interests you, I am not married. Any suggestion?
any suggestions? no, not really. i just think there are better reasons out there not to get married than just being the master of your own household. of course, it is up to you at the end of the day. i'm not a big fan of marriage anyways, i think if you're really committed to each other, you won't need marriage to make your relationship concrete. however, getting married just to stay together is borderline retarded. anyways, how do you know i'm a guy??? |
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