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bamba
Sweden
401 Posts |
 Posted - 25 Feb 2006 : 18:51:58
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| Allow me to express my views on RAPE. A psychotic power expression describes best the act of rape. Men in groups, as soldiers, are forced to such an act by group pressure. Normal men dont rape women at all, except in situations where normality is hindered---in psychic abnormal situations. |
Bamba |
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twinkly
United Kingdom
190 Posts |
Posted - 25 Feb 2006 : 21:33:35
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 Ok Babylon, I have to apologise, you were talking about different things.I just thought we were free to discuss things in connection with Gambia since we are in a gambian forum.And the original posting does state connections to the african continent. Nevermind
Formby you make me laugh .You have just explained the complete opposite from a Gambian who never travelled to Europe.And I believe you have been living here for decades if I remember correctly.Thank you for that example
Hmm, Gambiabev........
Please don't get personal and just scroll over me.You don't have to broaden your horizon if you don't want to.
I would find it also more entertaining to read about gambian things, than about your life in the UK.
"Do you want to live in 1950s Britain???? Those days are over, get over it!"
What was wrong with 1950's Britain? Was it not developed enough for you?So what you are trying to say is, that my opinion about the position of a woman, is oldfashioned?I think many Gambians share this attitude with me(maybe not, then I just put my footin it big time )so this attitude is old-fashioned? I will say no more....
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 26 Feb 2006 : 09:02:43
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In 1950s Britain women were stuck in a domestic role with no choice. Men controlled the finances and therefore controlled their wives.
Formby..that Gambian guys sounds great..where does he lives!? |
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 26 Feb 2006 : 23:12:00
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quote:
Originally posted by twinkly
and I have nowhere near as much experience with Africans as you claim but I've learnt that it doesn't matter how many african men you know(which puts u in a bad light anyway)I know what I know.
Wow, seems like we have someone who likes to judge people alot.
What are you, virgin Mary? |
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Sister Omega
United Kingdom
2085 Posts |
Posted - 26 Feb 2006 : 23:44:51
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Babylon you make me laugh how are you doing?
Well, well, gambianbev 1950's Britain was a completely different situation for my community. My family came over from Jamaica in the 1950's invited by the British government to reconstruct Britain both my Grandmothers worked hard. One was a nurse doing twelve hour shifts and the other worked in factories until she saved up enough money to open her own West Indian Take Way in Birmingham. My Grandfathers worked long shifts in construction.
None of my Grandmother's stayed at home. They came to England to work, they ran their households looked after their husbands and children supporting an extended family in Britain and Jamaica.
They were both career women who helped to support their families. And come from a matriachal lineage where women did and still continue to do most of the work.
I'm not describing the men as being lazy because even in the 50's both of my Grandfathers were more than capable of doing domestic chores if need be, not that they needed to be but their mothers had taught them how to be self-sufficient, and I have passed that on to my daughters and now to my sons.
I don't want my son's to grow up and not be able to look after themselves and to depend on women to things for them. They must learn how to cook, clean, iron and general house maintenance. etc And likewise my daughters can manage a home as well as do change plugs, light blubs decorate etc without having to depend on a man to do it for them. Plus they all have access to education. So at the end of the day when it comes to it both my daughters and sons have learnt to respect each others gender, without feelings of inferiority and superiority complexes.
It was funny yesterday I asked my son to sweep up the kitchen he mowned about it. Then relunctantly compiled. And I him asked him "So who's going to do it for you when you leave home." He replied " My wife".
So I asked him "so what woman wants a hardback husband who can't do nothing?"
He replied "I can cook?" "I can wash up." "I can iron clothes." today he offered to cook the dinner which he did by himself for the first time. It tasted good. Now none of these qualities strips away his manhood for I want him and his brother to have a partner who they want to be with not have to be with be with.
So to me as a woman I don't agree with anti-manism (feminism) for it degenerates men and boys. I am for womanism that uplifts both sexes and brings them up to a level to respect each others qualities, and to complement them.
Peace
Sister Omega
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Peace
Sister Omega |
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twinkly
United Kingdom
190 Posts |
Posted - 26 Feb 2006 : 23:54:39
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Babylon
It's nice to provoke, isn't it?
Since you made this statement you are obviously out for quarrel.I will reply to this and after you may quarrel on your own if you like.
Firstly, why do nearly ALL(white)women jump when something negative is said about a white woman.I am white but I will never defend my whole people.By the way, this was meant to be a general statement, but maybe it was a bit out of order because you took it personal.
So, once again I should apologize to you,Babylon?
You write things that make me think, how can you have so much experience and still not see the obvious?
But like Serenata says, nobody is here to take a certain someone's Alpha-positionSo, maybe all the white women in here who have different opinions than you should keep quiet.
Yes, I do judge people.But I always see the good in people, or at least I try.You make it very hard for me
Aaaaand,having children, I don't suppose I can be a virgin anymore
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 27 Feb 2006 : 00:02:38
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Hi Sister Omega!
Iīm doing just fine over here, reading some of the funny stuff here at the Bantaba makes me laugh alot too. Some ppl here really have a great sense of humour.
Take care!
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 27 Feb 2006 : 00:12:03
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My dearest little Twinkly girl,
I never take things personal here in cyberspace. I donīt know you (thank God for that!) and you donīt know me (thank God for that too!)
so whatever ignorant nonsense that may accidentally slip out from ya big mouth really donīt face me.
You donīt have to appologize 4 anything. |
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Sister Omega
United Kingdom
2085 Posts |
Posted - 27 Feb 2006 : 00:22:56
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Twinkly I disgree about your statement on Gambian men because I know brothers both in the UK and Gambia who can cook, and do it on a regular basis in both countries. On many occassions Gambian men will cook especially when women aren't around to do it for them or they live on their own or share with their male friends. Or when their spouses or partners are unable to do for some reason or another. By the way I know brothers who are so good at cooking that they are chefs and do it for a living. I think it's important to avoid stereotypes not all men have cave men mentalities or can be put in a box.There are alot of progressive brothers out there.
Peace
Sister Omega. |
Peace
Sister Omega |
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 27 Feb 2006 : 09:10:02
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Sister Omega...your son sounds great! That is where change starts..in the home...
Feminism doesnt have to be antiman...not all feminists are lesbian. I am feminist(I think u are too from what I have read)But I like men.......
All I want is for women to have equal opporunities in life.
The 1950s I was refering to was the white (middle classs) experience..because I think TWINKLY is white..it was a reply to her.....
Any women who works full time, raises a family AND looks after a home
has my respect.....BOTH my grandmas did it. |
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bamba
Sweden
401 Posts |
Posted - 27 Feb 2006 : 09:11:35
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Bravo sister Omega!!! Feminism for cohesion rather than separation is the music I can dance to all night long. Feminists that take to feminism to get back at men, or for other reasons better known to them alone, are out for conflicts. A conflict beleaguered world needs conflict reductions and not additions. When any aspect of life is used selfishly and for the mere satisfaction of its exploiters, humans gregariousness becomes tampered with.
Your kids will some day thank you, in this precarious world of ours, for raising them independently and instilling discipline in them. People will always be products of their upbringing.
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Formby
United Kingdom
246 Posts |
Posted - 27 Feb 2006 : 11:39:31
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In the UK, I think perhaps we are in a post-feminist age. Our foresisters did the actual fighting and we're enjoying the fruits.
By this I mean that only a few decades ago it was perfectly legal to pay a woman less than a man for doing the same job (the resoning being that the men had the family to provide for), in certain professions a woman had to give up her job when she married, and domestic violence was ignored by the legal sysyem (to name but a few things). Women of middle age and below don't remember that because they've never lived in those conditions.
So, the anti-men attitude isn't a prominent aspect of feminism any more. Why should it be? Unless you are gay, (or determindley celibate) there'll be a man in your life at some stage and what are you gonna do, battle with him? Of course some men are still disparaging about women but a confident, post feminist woman is more likely to laugh and pity his insecurity rather than be offended.
Yes, Sister Omega, a man who is competent around the house and willing to help is MUCH more of a man than the slob who sits lazily expecting to be waited on.
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Formby
United Kingdom
246 Posts |
Posted - 27 Feb 2006 : 11:48:08
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| Oh, and by the way, the bloke I described above lives 'down south' and has been here for 12 years so is really Anglo-Gambian now. But even when I was first going to Gambia 12 years ago and staying with mates who were renting in compounds, these guys were batchelors sharing line houses and they did all their own housework. I was occasionally allowed to do the washing up but only (I strongly suspect) so the local kids could laugh at me as I carried the water from the tap in the back yard. I never did learn to balance it on my head! |
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twinkly
United Kingdom
190 Posts |
Posted - 27 Feb 2006 : 12:32:23
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Many thanks Sister Omega for your constructive critisism.
Obviously I have been misunderstood.Let me try to explain,
Of course I am against men treating their woman bad and we should be equal.
And Formby, my hubby does everything if he wants or has to, but I will not tell him he has to do something, a sensitive man, who adjusts to our ways does automatically change.I am not a woman who sits at home all day cooking and cleaning.My hubby is sick(like our sister who might be deported), can't work so I am the breadwinner, while he takes care of the children and most things in the house.So you see, I am not such an alien like I must have described myself here
Yes, gambians are very adjustable(hope that's the right word).
Since I have only boys, so far, they are taught and encouraged to help me around the house just as I would do with a girl.I share your view sis, on treating and teaching boys the same as girls.
We just heard on the news today,that we in the UK have the biggest gap in the whole of Europe, when it comes to EQUAL PAY FOR MEN AND WOMEN. Women earn on average 17% less for the same job.
Now if anybody thinks I am supporting this kind of thing, please try and think about my statements.When I say equality,I mean the whole aspect of it.
quote:
Originally posted by Babylon
My dearest little Twinkly girl,
I never take things personal here in cyberspace. I donīt know you (thank God for that!) and you donīt know me (thank God for that too!)
so whatever ignorant nonsense that may accidentally slip out from ya big mouth really donīt face me.
I will close this subject now with Babylon because it is getting personal(I do take this above personal!)and I will put this down as a very good example of Western attitude
THIS INCLUDES ME JUST AS MUCH AS BABYLON |
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Formby
United Kingdom
246 Posts |
Posted - 27 Feb 2006 : 12:47:23
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Yeah, don't argue cos you're essentially agreeing with each other!
Twinkly I just saw that on the news but didn't think it was between men and women doing the same job (that IS illegal). I was under the impression that it was because women still didn't have the same attitude to career progression. I also heard about the difficulties new mums have returning to the workplace and it did force me to reconsider my earlier post. |
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