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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
 Posted - 25 Feb 2006 : 13:52:44
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You are very lucky.......lots of people are not trustworthy and lots of men dont give women the respect they deserve!
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 25 Feb 2006 : 13:55:32
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| That is true, it is hard to find men like my man! I suppose I am very lucky. |
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bamba
Sweden
401 Posts |
Posted - 25 Feb 2006 : 13:58:20
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| Gambiabev, I implore for less emphasis on the equities of our modern world. Do you know that whites form 20% of the world's population but control all of it. |
Bamba |
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 25 Feb 2006 : 14:43:36
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That depends on your definition of white and of control. I agree that the level of control is out of proportion to the population.
Is Cuba controlled by white people? Japan? China? India? |
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twinkly
United Kingdom
190 Posts |
Posted - 25 Feb 2006 : 15:00:09
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Sorry, Babylon, this was not meant personal against you alone.I am part of this society, and I just try to see the world from a different point of view.When somebody critisises white women(I just had the same topic in a african-german forum)every single one of them jumps for defence.I don't take these things personal, why should I?I can UNDERSTAND.
But I defenitely have to agree with you about the work environment.
The subject of rape is a tricky one.Of course justice has to be practised, but our society should cover up more.Do these rape happen in e.g. Arab countries as often as here?It is mainly a white problem, again we need to look at our society as a whole.I would never defend a rapist, but something is wrong because these things happen far more here than in other parts of the world.
Mutual respect of course, but I believe that a man still has to give in more to give his woman a feeling of power,the table has turned, the man has to bow down to the woman here in Europe.
Just look at all these Africans who try to make it here.They(most of them) see no other choice but to marry an European to secure their stay.Can you really tell me that these men do all these things like housechores, cooking a.s.o.every day because they reeeeeeeeeeeeeeally want to?I don't think so.Maybe a few of them do change and adjust to our european ways, or, like most of them, just bow down for as long as they have to until they reached another goal in their mission,and can eventually get a woman from their own country who will treat him, like they both know from home. |
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twinkly
United Kingdom
190 Posts |
Posted - 25 Feb 2006 : 15:11:28
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Gambiabev, We have the power in this world.That is a sad fact.Wether you like it or not.I believe we could change the world if only we wanted to.The economic market is controlled by us, so we have the power to let certain countries develop while we ignore others.
We don't control other countries in such an obvious way and of course our system doesn't educate us to see these things.But as an adult we have sense and the ability to think and see,so we should go and find out the truth, the whole truth about the history of our whole world.
Babylon, I count myself just as lucky as you because I see my husband has shown me the world from a different point of view. |
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Formby
United Kingdom
246 Posts |
Posted - 25 Feb 2006 : 15:40:38
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Rape is not just the result of 'not covering up'. In any case, a woman should be free to wear what she wants without being brutalised. It is not the womans job to exercise self-control for the man. If one says that it is, one is basically saying that men are weak, silly creatures who operate by instinct not thought, and that isn't true.
No, rape is all about the power/humilliation tactic. The rape of women is very common in war situations and even in the home, when the woman has no economic power or status.
One guilty little secret in the UK here is that of male rape. And of course, men are even less inclined to report it than women. |
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bamba
Sweden
401 Posts |
Posted - 25 Feb 2006 : 16:14:57
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There is direct and indirect control. The countries that should have freely traded with Cuba are pressurized, one-way or the other, by super power America not to. Cuba finds itself in economic mess today thanks to America. Super power is ruled by Euro-Americans.
Husbands and wives in happy marriages, in this increasingly complicated world, are very lucky and should be encouraged to stick to them. Happy marriages are rarities nowadays. Work hard on your happy marriages to sustain them, a good advice from Bamba.
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 25 Feb 2006 : 16:22:28
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quote:
Originally posted by twinkly
Just look at all these Africans who try to make it here.They(most of them) see no other choice but to marry an European to secure their stay.Can you really tell me that these men do all these things like housechores, cooking a.s.o.every day because they reeeeeeeeeeeeeeally want to?I don't think so.Maybe a few of them do change and adjust to our european ways, or, like most of them, just bow down for as long as they have to until they reached another goal in their mission,and can eventually get a woman from their own country who will treat him, like they both know from home.
Lol  No I really donīt think Most people do housechores because they really want to. Mot people do it because they HAVE to.
Donīt forget all the african bachelors. And I must say that not all fancy to marry a woman from their own country either no matter how long they stayed here. It is all a matter of personal choise.
And rape is never the womans fault!
Also, I didnīt need a man to change my point of views. I grew up among africans in my neighbourhood and was like a 4th child in one african family.
What really changed my point of views on this world was when I first saw "The Roots" and "Biko" when I was about 11 or 12..
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twinkly
United Kingdom
190 Posts |
Posted - 25 Feb 2006 : 16:55:30
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Quote from Babylon
""Donīt forget all the african bachelors."
Have you ever seen a bacherlor in Africa?Almost every man stays with his parents or siblings until he is married.This is again something that many men face when coming to Europe.They have to learn how to cook.I'm sorry Babylon, but no Gambian will do housechores if he has a wife,unless of course he bows down again to the european woman.
"most people do it because they have to"
Let me try to explain:
Yes, most african men do it when coming to Europe because they have to, they didn't come with a woman.
If a Gambian finds a european he might do it because it is our way of doing things and he adjusts.
Now in your case, he will do it because the european woman expects that of him.So HE is bowing down
Most people do it because they have to, most african men(in a mixed relationship)like yours,do it BECAUSE THE WOMAN TELLS HIM TO.
Babylon, please don't get personal.I am not here to promote my husband, and I have nowhere near as much experience with Africans as you claim but I've learnt that it doesn't matter how many african men you know(which puts u in a bad light anyway)I know what I know.
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Formby
United Kingdom
246 Posts |
Posted - 25 Feb 2006 : 17:08:08
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In defense of the Gambian male!
Actually, nearly every Gambian man I know can and does cook. They seem to be proud of their domoda skills etc. When I'm in Gambia I never have to cook, the men do it all! This might just be my experience...
And I don't know of any Gambian men here in the UK that leave all the housework to their women. Again, it might not be representative but I can only speak of what I know. In fact, Gambian men seem a damn sight more willing to share the housework than English blokes do. The same goes for childcare.
S'just what I've seen...
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bamba
Sweden
401 Posts |
Posted - 25 Feb 2006 : 17:58:41
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Formby, the domestic situations in Europe and Africa are totally different. In Gambia for example, husbands (if they didnt have working wives contributing to the household economy) employ maids to free themselves and relief their wives from the burden of domestic chores. In the west the practice of employing maids is exclusively restricted to the exorbitantly rich.
If we put aside the different traditions that govern them, culinary activities agitate human fantasies
On occasional visit to a Gambian friend married to a Gambian wife, we, me and him, cook the days meal giving the wife enough time for their son and other things she wants to do. She usually eats more than we do when the meal is served.
African men are adaptable to any given situation.
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Bamba |
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 25 Feb 2006 : 18:16:18
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Twinkly, I know that there are not many men living alone in Africa. I was speaking about EUROPE.
I am not talking about the life in Africa here at all you see.
My man who (who is an Ivorian) likes to have a clean house, so whenever he has the time he cleans it. We take turns, I donīt have to tell him nothing he just does what needs to done. Simple as that. Everything does not have to be so complicated. |
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 25 Feb 2006 : 18:30:58
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This topic has really taken off!
Formby..I agree RAPE is TOTALLY about power, control and humiliation.
Twinkly..I dont want to get personal but your postings are starting to annoy me! Do you want to live in 1950s Britain???? Those days are over, get over it!
RAPE is an issue in every community. It happens in Africa.....it might not be reported so much.....it might not be talked about...but it happens. It happens in war zones and in refugee camps.... one sides men rape the others. In happens in marriages..the man thinks he 'owns' his wife.
It happens on dates where arrogant men who have perhaps paid for a meal think it entitles them to sex.
IT IS NEVER THE WOMENS FAULT. She should always have the right to say no and the man should have the self control to accept that.
Now onto chores......I am a women....you know I LOVE cleaning the toilet and scrubing the oven! I would much rather do that than lie on the sofa with a good book!!!!
Somehow the fact I have a womb makes me so much better at ironing and cooking than a man!!!!!
I HATE housework. I LOVED being at home bringing up my children. THAT is the most important job......but chores......I do as little as possible to stay hygenic (just).
If I am with a man I want an equal relationship. I dont want to be his MOTHER! We can muddle through the chores as quick as possible to give us time together to do something alot more interesting and fun! |
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Formby
United Kingdom
246 Posts |
Posted - 25 Feb 2006 : 18:39:24
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Last Sunday a Gambian bloke I know was coming over to see me. He suggested a time, I said no it'd have to be later as I had to clean the house. So he said (get this!!) 'I'll come over and help you'.
BLIMEY! I said no as it's one thing having 'your' man help round the house, quite another for someone who doesn't even live here and isn't my fella to come and do it.
So he came over later and I was cooking Sunday dinner. He would not sit on the sofa but instead insisted on peeling the carrots and spuds.
Oh I like Gambian men!!! |
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