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debra
5 Posts |
 Posted - 08 Nov 2006 : 18:38:51
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My Gambian friend here in the USA is expecting her 1st baby. I would like to have a party for her where guests bring her baby gifts. Are there any Gambian traditions that might make it a special party for her? Gifts ideas for a new Gambian mom? Things that I should not do as I would not want to offend her?
Thank you.
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kondorong
Gambia
4380 Posts |
Posted - 08 Nov 2006 : 19:19:41
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There is no Gambian baby shower cuturally. Pregnancy is always a secrecy and sex is a taboo in our culture. Infact we never talk about deliveries of an unborn child nor do we even talk about a possible name until birth.
Its foreign to Gambian culture. Pregnant women would always deny being pregnant let alone throw a party for an unborn child.
What we have is a naming ceremony on the 8th day and you send gifts. Between the ist day of delivery and the 8th day, women visit the mother and give gifts like soap, clothes for the baby, or sheets for the baby and oil. Some offer free massage to the mother and the baby and Grandmas would ceratinly sleep with the mother for atleast one month to teach the new mother skills of taking care of a new born.
Also as a rule, the mother cannot be in the open from sunset especially during twilight. The babay and mother must be indoors. The baby infact is kept indoors until he has a name.
BABY SHOWER IS NOT IN OUR CULTURE. I MEAN ALL THE 9 TRIBES IN THE GAMBIA SO I HAVE NO ADVICE FOR YOU AS TO WHAT YOU SHOULD DO. ITS WESTERN PERIOD. |
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kayjatta
2978 Posts |
Posted - 08 Nov 2006 : 19:28:18
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Kons:
We do not have a "baby shower" but pregnancy and sex are not so much secrecy and taboo. Most Gambian women generally don't test for pregnancy so they don't usually know until much later. Maybe that is the secrecy. Sex is more private in our discussions but it is not "taboo"(frobidden). |
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anna
Netherlands
730 Posts |
Posted - 08 Nov 2006 : 19:39:10
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Kondorong, you sound so severe in your posting. Please note, that Debra is inquiring in this special case so as not to offend or upset the mother to be. I am sure she is not out to impose any 'western thing' on her friend. It is almost as if you resent Debra for wanting to make the birth of her friend's first baby into something special.
Debra, isn't it nice to throw a namingceremony-party on the 8th day after the baby's birth (even though perhaps the baby has already been named, for instance because the father is a 'westerner')? |
When an old African dies, it is as if a whole library has burnt down.
Amadou Hampate Ba (Mali) |
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kondorong
Gambia
4380 Posts |
Posted - 08 Nov 2006 : 19:52:20
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quote:
Originally posted by kayjatta
Kons:
We do not have a "baby shower" but pregnancy and sex are not so much secrecy and taboo. Most Gambian women generally don't test for pregnancy so they don't usually know until much later. Maybe that is the secrecy. Sex is more private in our discussions but it is not "taboo"(frobidden).
Yes you are right but not until recently that we embraced all vices of indecency to a point that religious leaders are named after horrible and indecent dress styles in the name of modernisation. That was not the gambia i know. Ask any tailor about Imam Fatty Style, they all know about. Its a dress that is exposed almost to the waist on both sides and you can almost see the underwear of the person wearing it.
Yes its not a taboo thanks to the many moon light picnics that have become the trademark of night life on the beaches. Yes it was not an issue until when no one cared about chasty When a a bride is brought in to the room of groom by an aunt in the dead of the night on her first encounter. What follows in the morning is a traditional ritual that many Gambians dont know about. The problem is, we no longer value traditions that have for centuries created a respectful and caring community. Like the Fulas say: WANA MAI BEH TAN YURR MINI.
YES ITS NOT A TABOO WHEN TEENAGE PREGNANCIES HAVE BECOME A RITE OF PASSAGE THESE AND YES ITS NOT A TABOO NOW THAT BABY DUMPING IN TOILETS HAVE BECOME TOO OFTEN WHAT YOU READ IN NEWSPAPERS.
I am sorry, but i beg to differ. May be we are talking abiut different gambias. Sex and pregnanacy have always been issues we dont talk about.
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Edited by - kondorong on 08 Nov 2006 19:58:41 |
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kondorong
Gambia
4380 Posts |
Posted - 08 Nov 2006 : 19:57:38
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quote:
Originally posted by anna
Kondorong, you sound so severe in your posting. Please note, that Debra is inquiring in this special case so as not to offend or upset the mother to be. I am sure she is not out to impose any 'western thing' on her friend. It is almost as if you resent Debra for wanting to make the birth of her friend's first baby into something special.
Debra, isn't it nice to throw a namingceremony-party on the 8th day after the baby's birth (even though perhaps the baby has already been named, for instance because the father is a 'westerner')?
I am not severe. I am just being honest with Debra. Its not Gambian and therefore there is no gambian advice regarding the topic. What ever she may have been told about Gambian baby shower does not exist in the gambian culture. I stand corrected.
Remember November is Bantaba History Month. All myths will be bursted here. |
Edited by - kondorong on 08 Nov 2006 20:00:21 |
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 08 Nov 2006 : 20:27:38
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Sex and babies is nothing to be ashamed of! A pregnancy is a beautiful thing, especially if the child is to be born to a couple who are married and in love.
I think alot of the secrecy is to do with superstitions about counting the chicken before it is hatched.
In Uk the old fashioned tradition was that you didnt bring anything to do with the new baby into the house before it was born...just incase. |
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kondorong
Gambia
4380 Posts |
Posted - 08 Nov 2006 : 20:31:33
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quote:
Originally posted by gambiabev
Sex and babies is nothing to be ashamed of! A pregnancy is a beautiful thing, especially if the child is to be born to a couple who are married and in love.
I think alot of the secrecy is to do with superstitions about counting the chicken before it is hatched.
In Uk the old fashioned tradition was that you didnt bring anything to do with the new baby into the house before it was born...just incase.
Well in the Gambian culture, its not spoken about nor are children told that the family is expecting a new member. |
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 08 Nov 2006 : 21:00:40
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| So how is the mothers changing body explained? |
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 08 Nov 2006 : 21:03:58
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A baby shower is an american idea, not a european one. Once again it is pure commerce, trying to get people to buy more stuff!
Personally I prefer the english way of waiting till the baby is safe and sound and then individually, quietly visiting the new family and taking a small personal present. But that is just me, as I have said before I am very english and dont like the brashness of many American ways! |
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kondorong
Gambia
4380 Posts |
Posted - 08 Nov 2006 : 21:06:52
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quote:
Originally posted by gambiabev
So how is the mothers changing body explained?
Its just like the American law regarding gays in the military: DONT ASK DONT TELL POLICY |
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 09 Nov 2006 : 00:34:09
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Whatīs all the fuss about? Kondorong, sorry but you sound just as old as the man is in your avatar is, if not older !
Debra just asked for some advice as she may not be familiar with Gambian culture, just out of curiousity, kindness and care for her friend.
True that pregnancy is often kept as a secret in Africa until the child is born, not all westerners are familiar with that so why not just explain it nicely without all the anger(?) and yelling? Besides, who knows maybe Debras friend would love to have a babyshower as she now lives in the States and maybe donīt even follow gambian traditions.
Aint nothing wrong with babyshowers if you ask me. I wish we would have more of those here in Sweden too. What you mean Bev itīs just pure commerce? Donīt most women love gifts and parties...?Atleast I do and all the Gambian/ African women I know! We love stuff!!! and we wanna have more! And if we can get it for free itīs even better. So babyshowers, why not?
And oh, one more thing: my african girls have all told me about their pregnancies since day one, so far from all live up to their african traditions here in the West. |
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kondorong
Gambia
4380 Posts |
Posted - 09 Nov 2006 : 01:01:02
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quote:
Originally posted by Babylon
Whatīs all the fuss about? Kondorong, sorry but you sound just as old as the man is in your avatar is, if not older!
Debra just asked for some advice as she may not be familiar with Gambian culture, just out of curiousity, kindness and care for her friend.
True that pregnancy is often kept as a secret in Africa until the child is born, not all westerners are familiar with that so why not just explain it nicely without all the anger(?) and yelling? Besides, who knows maybe Debras friend would love to have a babyshower as she now lives in the States and maybe donīt even follow gambian traditions.
Aint nothing wrong with babyshowers if you ask me. I wish we would have more of those here in Sweden too. What you mean Bev itīs just pure commerce? Donīt most women love gifts and parties...?Atleast I do and all the Gambian/ African women I know! We love stuff!!! and we wanna have more! And if we can get it for free itīs even better. So babyshowers, why not?
And oh, one more thing: my african girls have all told me about their pregnancies since day one, so far from all live up to their african traditions here in the West.
I held the paint brush when the sky was being painted blue. I am older than Walter, but age has nothing to do with wisdom or virtue. |
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LEMON TIME
Afghanistan
1295 Posts |
Posted - 09 Nov 2006 : 03:08:48
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| Kondorong take a rest and refresh yourself on this topic as the old gambian ways are changing with time.lets move on and not stuck at the past.Dont ride a Donkey if you own a car. |
There is no god but Allah |
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Jack
Belgium
384 Posts |
Posted - 09 Nov 2006 : 09:24:19
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quote:
Originally posted by LEMON TIME
.Dont ride a Donkey if you own a car.
It like that one Lemon. However as oil is becoming scarce and therefor expensive, maybe we all are forced to go back to the donky-cars. lol |
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kondorong
Gambia
4380 Posts |
Posted - 09 Nov 2006 : 18:26:42
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quote:
Originally posted by Jack
quote:
Originally posted by LEMON TIME
.Dont ride a Donkey if you own a car.
It like that one Lemon. However as oil is becoming scarce and therefor expensive, maybe we all are forced to go back to the donky-cars. lol
You just spoke for me. Whats the point of having a car if you dont know how to drive it. A resource is only useful if it can be utilized. Like youssou Ndour once said:
BO DEMEH BEH KHAMATO FO JEM, DEL LUL FANGA JOGEH, FINGE LA TETEH, FINGA JANGEH LEKOL, FINGE LA KHAMEH. WIRI WIRI JARINGE LA REH, LAH REH. BILLAYE BILLAYE BILLAYE
Its from the Wiri Wiri track |
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