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Momodou
Denmark
11823 Posts |
 Posted - 01 Mar 2010 : 17:54:08
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Are Marriages Surviving long Nowadays?
By Youba Nyancho
The issue of getting permanent marriage and continuous pleasure between spouses is becoming a problem nowadays for both men and women in the present generation, particularly in Africa and other parts of the world. This sad issue has resulted in many bachelors and spinsters fearing to marry due to the examples of such problems prevalent in society and happening before their eyes.
Marriage, which when it is to be wedded, allows traditional elders as representatives of the two spouse pray for longevity of the marriage and for the spouse to stay long in their marriage until at the end of their lives. But nowadays, marriages are seemingly done in the form of contracts which even is another discouraging factor for the unmarried, for the simple reason that they are frequently seeing divorces at all times. And most of those divorced women have been sitting without men having interest in serious relationships, talk much of re-marrying. Some of those divorced women have children, making the problem a serious one because some of those divorced husbands also would not stand up to their responsibility of taking care of their children after divorce.
Love is very expensive, and no one wants to go on divorcing with a partner after living together for years. The Daily News spoke to some women to sound their views on this problem, and many point out that the issue be confronted because children of those divorced parents ultimately lack good education, access to good healthcare systems, even feeding, clothing and housing will add to the problem.
A divorced woman, Ms. Mam Jaiteh, 29, residing in Manjai Kunda has said that many ladies have been divorcing with their husbands due to many reasons and most of those divorces are caused when a husband is unable to afford most of the basic needs of the wife. This would sometimes be due to so many promises men make to ladies prior to marriage. After a short period of marriage, the wives realize that the husbands cannot afford to deliver the promises made.
Therefore she said, problems would become the order of their marriage. Other men cannot afford to keep wives, but the only chances they capitalize on to get wives are through the use of sweet words in order to get and sustain their marriages. And such tricks never last that is why divorce is so rampant nowadays in the societies, she said.
She also explained that many marriages are made on some social factors; many ladies also marry to men for reasons such as money, business or having hope that he would take them to merry land America or Europe. Other ladies also like to marry rich people, people who are in high positions in government or in the NGOs, those running big businesses. Such women also are hypocrites, because if they do not have love for humble and low-profile people, why they should pretend that they love them?
Due to this reason, some men also would pretend to be rich in order to get the chance to marry such ladies as their dream wives, even though they would know that the relationship would not stay long enough. But for them to enjoy the ride while it lasts, they would be left with no choice but to live a life of false-pretence or false life, knowing that those type of ladies have no love for any poor man, no matter what… As a lady, if you don’t love a man, do not trick him, he warned. Because false love cannot exist for a long time; no matter what one does, reality will one day prevail.
Unfortunately, rich people especially in Africa are not aware of these attitudes in society. When rich people marry such ladies, they would go outside to keep girl friends because they know the wives they have do not love them. They know so because they know the wife agreed to marry based on his wealth and when bankruptcy any day in the horizon, those ladies would be the first to desert them for another rich man.
That is also why husbands also never preserve their sexual energy for those of their so-called wives rather they would try to keep other concubines outside, who might give them pleasures different from whatever their wives are giving them at home. Miss Mama Jaiteh continued to chat on, saying that "this is why most men in Africa after they divorce with their wives, get reluctant to re-marry; and they do not think of acquiring an honest and decent love again". This she said could be a result of the problems that husbands suffered in the hands of their previous wives. Such men always stereotype every woman as dishonest, and a deceiver in love.
Another problem associated with these kinds of marriages is polygamy. Whilst not every woman is bad, due to their inclination towards becoming money lovers than giving true love to a man, they sleep around with them; not minding to give to them the only special thing. Again, while some men are just after young-aged ladies, they pick up attitudes of changing one wife after the other – especially when they see breasts of their wives starting to fall instead of round and erect as before… And in the event that that they marry to new wives, they focus much on her than the first. Marrying is not all about enjoyment, but it is another aspect of worshipping God, she said.
Source: Dailynews
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A clear conscience fears no accusation - proverb from Sierra Leone |
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toubab1020
12314 Posts |
Posted - 01 Mar 2010 : 18:25:28
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From The Daily News Piece above a quote;
"Unfortunately, rich people especially in Africa are not aware of these attitudes in society. When rich people marry such ladies, they would go outside to keep girl friends because they know the wives they have do not love them "
A question,if that's the case, can the "girlfriends" really say they love "this rich man" for his looks or feelings, or is it more likely to be because he is " a rich man" ?
There is always a need for money and food, love cannot provide those,so perhaps the attitude of women outlined by the writer of the piece is correct,Arranged marriages are not mentioned,a practice that still exists I understand. |
"Simple is good" & I strongly dislike politics. You cannot defend the indefensible.
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Edited by - toubab1020 on 01 Mar 2010 18:27:22 |
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