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Momodou
Denmark
11823 Posts |
 Posted - 20 Jan 2010 : 18:09:38
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Women should not be violated
BY Binta Bah
Welcome to yet another edition of women’s affairs. It is a new column that comes on your way every Wednesday, that deals with issues affecting women within the community, how they operate, and the way forward for them and their involvement in the national development. In this specific edition I bring you the life testimony of mariama Ceesay who was once a victim of violence against women.
My father is a civil servant and my mother a farmer. My father wanted me to be educated while my mother saw it as a waste of money and energy. I escaped from being married and to live in the village with my husband - to have kids - be a sophisticated traditional wife. My mother was not educated, so she was not empowered.
I was a studious student, haven secured third position at my primary school leaving certificate. This made my father very happy, being the only surviving child, a girl child for that matter. He thus has faith in me and usually gave me a whole-year fee, including books and other necessities.
I stayed with one of my uncle when I came from the village. I suffered all sorts of physical abuse from members of our extended family.
My cousin sister has already given birth to twin girls. She suffered at birth and also faces hard times in her marriage. I usually go there to help nurse her twins and go to school at the same time because her residence was close our school, Nusrat.
My Problem Starts
At first, my stay at my cousin sister’s house was uneventful. I was not being discriminated. Her husband treated me well just like his family. He respected and trusted me and used me as a source of inspiration to the rest of the family. I was studious and hard working student. I adopted their twin girls and they became used to me that they were referred to me as my daughters. My cousin’s husband sang praises of me at all times. He referred to me as a role model.
The pedophile started to get interest in my body as I grew up into a daunting damsel. His friends say I am a beautiful woman. He himself become obsessed with feeling of me and craved for it. He tried nook, crook or hooks in the book to carnal knowledge of me.
“Helplessness”
I became helpless, wondering where to go. I sought help from relatives, friends, neighbours but not my sister. Who dare spoke to her about her husband’s escapades? Nobody! She protected her husband’s excesses as a responsible wife. I was in a limbo. I struggled and still suffered. The pedophile pretended to have interest in my welfare, my education. He became over-protective. He protested for me not to study at school, at my friends’ house and would not let me study at night in our sitting room because he would only wait when it is 3: am to 4: am, then would sneak into the sitting room naked and lie between me and his daughter in the dark. He tried to rape me and when I screamed he would creep back to his room and pretend as if nothing ever happened.
His family members started calling me bad names, saying I was seeing a demon, devil, witch etc. I insisted I was seeing devilish human-being who want to harm me because I was afraid to come out with the truth since I did not want to offend my cousin.
Some relatives advice me to be violent, to hurt or better still kill him. I would be a murderess by now. I planned with a neighbor friend to exposed him. The friend decided to sleep in the sitting room and be a witness to my story. As usual, he came out at night to perform his devilish act. He fell into our trap at the usual time, when he came out naked. We switch on the light and yell thief. He rushed back and pretended to be snoring heavily. His family members came out and blamed him for leaving the room ajar as he was suffering from diarrhea.
Culture of silence
It was a trend that I should not expose his evil scheme. “Sutura!” For how long? When girls and women are being destroyed for life?
A trusted friend
A trusted friend at Nustrat advised me to report to the police.
At the police station
I was afraid of the police, mustered courage. I met a police woman at the entrance of the police station. Bluntly, I told her in mandinka. “nkotoma kema le’ lafita nyaping kang na.” “They burst into laughter. But a gender sensitive officer called me into his office. That gives the courage, confidence and an outlet to spill-out my problem. He give me a listening ear as I narrate my problem to him – of my sister’s husband, his relatives and the culture of silence
His advised.
He advised me and me money to buy tight knickers and a jean to wear at night for protection. “Be ready for him,” he told me further, “get evidence, hold firm to his private part and scream.” This he said the family would be alerted and the man ashamed.
The implementation
I was anxious to put into practice for the advice of the officer. My molester did not venture the first day but he did the second. I was alerted, set and did exactly as advised. The man came with force toward me but I was smart enough to grab his private part and hold it firmly. He screamed, and I screamed. His household gets alerted. Tell her to let me go before I kill her!” he yelled. I was underneath his bare body pulling. The family struggle until I let him go. His small child screamed and cried “mummy! Mummy! Look at dad’s nakedness! Nakedness is not good, Dad put on something”. When I let him go, he quickly went into his second wife’s house mistaken it for the first wife’s house where he was for her “Aiye” turn to have the husband.
It was like a funeral the following day. I did not speak to anyone and nobody spoke to me except the man’s second son. “yama,’ the boy told me, “this man should be killed by sharia”. He is evil. I disown him but am still begging you to stay calm. Don’t tell anyone. It’s a great shame. I understand your situation.” We both wept bitterly.
“Silence again”
The story was not to be heard. During the struggle with my molester, the house was locked. No outsider was allowed in. but the neighbors knew everything. I have already told them my story.
Two days after the incident, my molester ordered me to leave his house before he return from work. My cousin asked me heed but did not recognise her husband’s voice. I insulted her and said to her that I am leaving them for good and never come back. My sister was worried what I would say of our fall out. “I’ll say your husband drove me out of his compound.” “No don’t go. He does not mean it. He is just bluffing.” I refused to stay.
“Smear campaign”
Our extended family was alerted about the problem but they decided to play along with my cousin. I was discredited and called names. No family member wanted to lodge me to earn the wrath of my cousin sister. I became a pariah.
“a good Samaritan”
A fellow African sister took me in and gave me shelter. She dissuaded me not go back to the village but to fight on for my dream of liberation and to help other women know and fight for their rights. I met many other courageous sisters and brothers who molded my thinking and made me stronger and firm in my belief.
I met sister Amie Sillah
I took our children to her school, Nyakoi Nursery School. I read her articles on Foroyaa Newspaper on “marriage and family column. I met her giving speeches at women gatherings. I was inspired by her activism. I learned a lot from her works. She became my role model.
My activism
As far back as my days at Nusrat, I used to put aside D100, D200 as a contribution for the women’s cause from the selling of sweet. I spoke on rights and responsibilities for women. I worked from greater Banjul to the Kiang and Baddibu. I enjoyed working with women.
“After the protocol”
Sister Amie incorporated me with my kunko group of kafoos into WODD. She trained me on the protocol as a WODD’s Board member. “Inshal allah” I can now train on the protocol. I have related my past experience to its Articles. For example: Art 3: Right to Dignity: Art. 6: Marriage: Art. 8: access to justice and equal protection before the law: Art. 10: Right to peace. I am now equipped by the protocol to be full activist. I’ll ensure both sexes are enlightened on its articles to know its remedies to ensure that the wrongs to women are corrected in our society and our families.
Source: Daily News
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A clear conscience fears no accusation - proverb from Sierra Leone |
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 20 Jan 2010 : 19:08:35
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Momodou, do you have any more information about the articles in the document she refers to?
I would like to know more about it.
Sometimes people in UK think there are more child abusers and peodophiles than there used to be. I dont think there is. I just think there is more openness and people are prepared to talk more about these terrible things.
In Gambia I'm sure there will be more cases coming to the public eye as women feel more empowered to speak out. |
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Momodou
Denmark
11823 Posts |
Posted - 20 Jan 2010 : 21:56:23
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Gambiabev, I did a search on WODD and got the following articles for you to read about the organisation. I would suggest you try and contact sister Amie Sillah next time you visit the Gambia. She runs a nursery in Bundung, Serrekunda called Nyakoi Nursery School.
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Women for Democracy and Development (WODD) Creates More Study Circles
By Amie Sillah on 27-06-08
http://www.foroyaa.gm/modules/news/article.php?storyid=1614
Women for Democracy and Development (WODD) is a non-partisan, non-religious and non-profit Women’s Rights Organisation.
Her mission is to conduct civic education, health education and to enhance women’s economic empowerment through the issuing of grants, not loans, to women’s groups. The Organisation envisages to, later on, in its project, assist the women members with soft loans that attract little or no interest, depending on their individual economic strength. WODD’s Vision is to ensure that women in its study circles become economically empowered and politically conscious in order to help The Gambia carve her destiny in the world of nations.
In November 2007, WODD visited seven of its study circles in the URR. Some moneies were saved for them to start-up small or micro-economic activities. All the seven communities visited did realize gains in their economic activities. The women were thought skills on how to make soap from flour.They are now making the soap both for sale and household use.
In May 2008, the WODD Executive again visited seven other communities., After sleeping with the women in their houses, we would wake up in the mornings and then engage them in skills training on how to make soap. In the afternoons, we would conduct lectures on health, nutrition and civic education. The ‘Kanyaleng’ women groups in the communities, would entertain and educate the people with theatre shows on pertinent issues. The women also entertained with dances and songs.
These activities were, indeed, family gatherings. The WODD organization, which emphathise with the situation of these women, is well connected with the grassroots. The problems confronting women are discovered to be the same everywhere. These are basically the lack of water; lack of adequate wells in their gardens; poor fencing leading to frequent animal intrusion into their gardens and household drudgery.
Our findings are that rural women need financial assistance. They are really hard working but that the lack of facilities to work hinder their prosperity. We were told how women are digging wells for themselves.
Women told us that more wells in their gardens will help them produce more vegetables to sell; that they need good fencing to prevent animals intrusion into their gardens.
These are people who want to work, but they don’t have tools to work with. They want to be economically independent but facilities are lacking. They paid taxes and rates but receive nothing in return.
In New York’s CSW 52, we dealt with financing gender equality for women’s empowerment. The rural women in The Gambia are saying: “We are not begging,we want government to assist in providing facilities to enable us do our work. We need more wells in our gardens. We need good fencing materials to wade off animals’ intrusion. We need markets to sell our produce. Government has to reflect on these genuine concerns.”
The Area councils: How are they assisting communities with facilities to make work easier for women? NGOs are assisting as well as CSOs and CBOs but they can only play a supplementary role.
All hands should be on deck. We need to assist rural women to live a dignified life. Embassies, the U.N system, individual philanthropists and organisations should help rural women help themselves to eradicate poverty.
These women are dignified. They don’t want to beg anyone. They want to live by their sweat.
WODD’s message to the women is simple. As women we have our differences, our specificities, our divergence and our commonality. Our commonalities surpass our differences. We have to unite in order to carve our destiny.
In this last trip, we have been able to create seven new study circles.
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WODD gives D6000 Grants to “Kunko” Kafo Serekunda Study Circle
By Annia Gaye on 28-09-09
http://www.foroyaa.gm/modules/news/article.php?storyid=3480
Women for Democracy and Development (WODD) gave a grant of D6,000 to “Kunko” Serekunda Study Circle.
‘Kunko’ is a string of women groups numbered 17 under the tutelage of sister Mariama Ceesay, a women Rights Activist and WODD Board Member.
‘Kunko’ groups are spread in the Greater Banjul Area, Western Division and the Kiangs.
The ‘Kunko’ Group of Women are dedicated, hardworking and industrious. They never receive any grants from anybody. But they do receive trainers from Sweden and the U.S who train them in skills development such as Tie and Dye, Soap Making and Handicraft Work.
The Groups meet every mid and End of month. The women contribute D55 each to start economic activities for the welfare of their families and their ‘kunko’ groups.
This is the first time that WODD has helped them with such a grant.
Amie Sillah, Executive Secretary of WODD presented the cash of D6000 (six thousand dalasis) to Oley Faye, ‘kunko’ Serekunda President. Oley thanked WODD for their good gesture. “We will not disappoint you. We will work hard to produce more than what you have given us,” she posited.
Amie said this is a test case. “This is a test case for Kunko. Mariama said you are a hardworking dedicated women. We have given grants to many women groups throughout the length and breadth of the Gambia. They have made gains with the little money given to them. Now it is ‘kunko’s turn. If you work hard expect more from us when we came for assessment,” she said.
Kulay Saidy, ‘kunko’ Serekunda spokeswomen said, “We will not disappoint you. We will work hard to help ourselves and our families”.
Sister Mariama Ceesay, the ‘Kunko’ initiator and WODD Board member thanked WODD on behalf of the ‘kunko’ groups. “This is our first grant from WODD. These women are sheroes. They are dedicated and hardworking. They will surpass all groups assisted by WODD hitherto.
I can guarantee that because I know the stuff they are made of”.
She requested for WODD to conduct a training workshop for ‘kunko’ Serekunda study circle. “Knowledge is life. Without knowledge the women will not be able to manage their finances, their health, their nutrition and they will be ignorant of their civic rights and responsibilities”.
Amie Sillah promised to hold a training workshop for all the ‘kunko’ groups under Mariama’s leadership.
The ceremony was held at the lady president’s residence. The group lost their male trainer. May he rest in perfect peace.
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WODD (Women for Democracy and Development) Trains It’s Board Members
By Publisher 2009/12/29
http://www.foroyaa.gm/modules/news/article.php?storyid=4213
The objective of the training is to empower the Board Members to be knowledgeable and to be able to execute WODD’S plans and programmes effectively and efficiently.
The Board Members were ready for the training. Halifa Sallah, a Political, Social Scientist and Researcher, An Adviser of WODD gave a lecture on Democracy and Women Leadership. Halifa lectured on impose leadership where representatives of the people are imposed on them autocratically. He talked about the nature of present day Gambia . The caste system were people from the ‘Upper Caste’ discriminate against people of the “Lower Caste’ in all social activities.
“Who make Decision? We cannot discuss leadership in a vacuum.
Leadership for Who?”
“Social Being determine social consciousness, social consciousness determine social action. Social actions are a process of socialization”. He posited.
“WODD is training you for transformation. The training is meant to be transformed into knowledge to become new human beings who in turn transform it into a culture which becomes a way of life for you”. After the training Halifa Sallah posited that the Board Members are expected to become role models.
On Democracy
A Democratic Women Movement Works on three tenets
1. Voluntarism
2. Consensual basis
3. Unanimity
Given tasks are to be done on voluntary basis
On consensual basis: Different people are capable of being leaders but one is selected on consensus. Instruments to determine how organisations are manage in all aspects of human life; How representatives are chosen and removed if they fail to carry out their functions effectively is called a constitution.
In unanimity, there are no squabbles for leadership, no struggle for power. Members of an organisation simply select the best. There is unity of purpose and direction.
“This is the type of leadership is what WODD is trying to build. Leadership strengthened from bottom-up”.
There are many types of Democracy. Equity takes place in a democracy through the exercise of voting-one person-one vote. People vote an equal plane. But in constitutional monarchy, there is absolute power. There is a limitation to Democracy.
This is a tendency to be check against so much power in constitutional monarchy leads to Absolutism.
Democracy has to have checks and balances in strong institution building. the three arms of government :Executive- Presidency, Legislature- parliament, National Assembly, Judiciary, The Justice System-Judges, Magistrates, Lawyers- (Bar and Bench) have to act to safeguard peoples’ interests. A Government of the people, By the People and for the people. The institutions have to be Accountable and Transparent and should be checking each other to ensure that people are served
People should exercise the power of Recall to save Democracy. Working Institutions should be accountable to the people.
The Third Phase of Democracy
Sovereignty of the people to assert and determine good governance is the best form of democracy. the people must retain the power of checking from below, peoples’ Associations, Unions, Medial, Women, Youth, Farmers and all sectors of society must become organise, mobilize, from the village to the National level.
There should be proposals and alternative proposals.
Peoples’ organisations have to be empowered to safeguard peoples interest. In consensual governance power is given to the Representative as trustees. They are to be accountable and transparent. Peoples’ associations have voice and power. They know their rights and they demand for them.
“WODD is aspiring to become such an organisation in a Gambia in Transition. We are urging all of you to practice democracy at the family, community and state level. Practice quality with all people you come across with”. Encompass all best practices. You should become change agents” He advised.
Conclusion
Democracy cannot be isolated from politics which is the Managing of the affairs of the state.
You have to become sovereign voters. Home cannot be isolated from the street. We should be seen as part of the people and be part of a solution”.
Halifa spoke about Agenda 2011. A change programme calling for the empowerment of the people. Halifa told WODD’s Board to think of what type of organisation they want WODD to be.
Think about your personal life and made a reflection on it.
What sort of person do you want to be? Part of the problem or part of the solution?
Think about the nation.
What sort of Gambia would you want to see?
Change calls for sacrifices.
“Think about it!”
He concluded his lecture.
Amie Sillah lectured on Qualities of Good Leadership which are :
1. Humility: Humility is a virtue. Leaders of the people have to be humble in dignity. Then they would be loved and cherished.
2. Dignity: People are Khalifas on Earth. Human beings are made in the image of God (Allah). We should not do anything whatsoever to question our dignity. If on the Right path, still some people can form opinions of us. We have no control over that. But we have a control over how we should see ourselves.
3. Charismatic: A leader should inspire, motivate and makes things happen if he/she is committed and passionate.
4. Accountability and Transparency, two sides of the same coin. In Accountability and Transparency, a leader has a moral duty on his/her followers. You become their role model. It isa bench mark to fight against corruption.
5. Emphathy and Sympathy: Again two sides of the same coin. A leader have to be emphatatic to feel the pinch of suffering of his/her people. Prince William slept a day in the streets to raise awareness on the plight of the Homeless. He wants to raise fund to provide them with a home.
That is emphaty.
Sympathy is also a virtue. You have to be sympathetic to the plight of the voiceless and powerless, the marginalised people.
A researcher, knowledge seeker, a learner.
A leader researches to get knowledge. That was aptly demonstrated during the McCain/Obama Debates.
He/she should also be a learner, a listener, be respectful of peoples’ views and opinions. Be democratic”. Amie concluded her lecture. it was participatory, interactive and lively. A lot of information was given out and also received from the Board Members as they narrate their life experiences.
There was an interlude of Music and entertainment.
After Lunch and Prayers Fatou Faye, a Board Member lectured on successful business tips.
“I have been doing business and helping my Aunt who brought me up since my school days. Business should be treated as a person. Whatever you take from it should be return even by yourself. Don’t look at friend or family. Don’t aspire on too much profit. Only a little profit can do. All your goods would go quickly and you replace your goods on a continuum. So far let me stop here until next time when I can put the points on paper”.
The workshop was very successful and rewarding. It ended by 7pm.
All the Board Members in the Greater Banjul and Western Division attended.
Training was held at it’s Headquarters in Churchill’s Town. Date 24th December, 2009.
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WODD, FangDema, S-Women Democracy Training
http://www.foroyaa.gm/modules/news/article.php?storyid=4186
By Amie Sillah on 23-12-09 (145 reads) News by the same author
Rosalie Sanyang from S-Women came to share experience with WODD and FangDema Kafoo in order to promote the ABC of Democracy. She was accompanied by Bendigt Eriksson from S-Women Jamtland.
They are partners of WODD and FangDema Kafoo, a youth movement affiliated to WODD. These were the questions asked to the participants in a demonstrative, participatory way in groups and individually.
- Where lies our Authority! Can we do what we want?
- Who are we, why us?
- What do we have in common?
- How do we reach a decision?
- How is the decision finally made?
An ABC of Democracy
Everyday and in a variety of situations, decisions are made that affect many people. When should that process be democratic? Or to be more specific
(a) What are the alternative democracies?
(b) When is Democracy to be preferred, and on what grounds?
(c) If one wants a democratic process, how to set about it?
What alternatives are there? How can issues that concern many people be settled?
- Peacefully
-violently
- Voluntary negotiations
Binding decisions by one or a few persons.
Oligarchy- elite rule Guardianship Binding decisions by the elite. Democracy- Rule by the people which leads to binding decision on all. concerned. Such an organisation presupposes an association, voluntary negotiations can lead to Anarchy – no binding rule. No association necessary.
The general outline of alternative forms of rule was put forward by Aristotle some 2,500 years ago. Today this approach has been elaborated into a general theory in a book Democracy and its Critics (Yale 1989).
One of the main points of this model is that if you want to make decisions in a democratic way, it must be done within the framework of an association. Without a community there can be no democracy. Authoritarian rule also presupposes an association, but does not allow all those concerned to participate in the decisions, either directly or indirectly.
Why Democracy?
Guardianship rests on the assumption that there are elites more qualified than others to make decisions for all concerned.
Which issues call for collective decision making?
Democracy is a middle cause, based on a division of power, where the following fundamental principles apply.
(1) There is actually an association that can make joint decisions on certain matters.
(2) Equal consideration is paid to the interest of each and every member
(3) The members are sufficiently mature to be the best judge of their own interests.
Characteristics of a Democratic Process
There is understanding- Participation- Effective participation: Everyone has an equal opportunity of making proposals voicing an opinion and being heard. Decision- Equal Vote- Everyone has the same influence over the final decision, one member, and one vote.
Enlightened understanding- Everyone has an equal opportunity of obtaining information and forming an opinion. From the time when people first realize they have something in common until they have got down to business, it may take quite a while to reach a decision and carry it out. But whether this process takes an hour or a year, it can be divided into five phases. And be it within a working team, a sports association or a country, a wholly democratic process must meet a set of five conditions or criteria: Inclusion, final control, effective participation, equal vote and enlightened understanding. Participants expressed different opinions with reasons which were respected. It was participatory and enriching.
Comment: inclusiveness, effective participation and reaching a consensus are the best methods for ownership. The lectures were practical and enjoyable.
The lectures took place at Cape Point Hotel on 16 December 2009.
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A clear conscience fears no accusation - proverb from Sierra Leone |
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 20 Jan 2010 : 22:00:08
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| Thank you for that. I will try to write to her and make contact. |
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| Bantaba in Cyberspace |
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