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sankalanka
270 Posts |
 Posted - 15 Mar 2009 : 05:25:44
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Momodou, thank you for the poetry and literary forum. Since when I saw the addition to the Bantaba, I wanted to start contributing but didn't have the chance to do so. Now, if time permits, I will be sharing some of my prose and poetry collections, to add to the already distinct compilation of Gambian literary talent.
In all the poems I wrote, I have consciously decided not to give them a title. I want the poems to open their narrative, to the different interpretations attached to such narratives, and to explore the realms of possibilities to the depths of our thoughts and experiences.
From the verandah
of my grandmother's hut
I watch the weeping
of the sky above
it pours down
on the corrugated kitchen roof
and the cold sea-blue water
pelts its pit-a-pat droppings
into the empty buckets underneath.
I watch
as the rain pours
and the leaves drip
their slivery wetness
on the fertile ground.
My squinted eyes follow
the many rivulet of water
build up into a stream
and gush out
into the wet sandy street.
And when the rain stops
the tiny green worms
crawl voraciously
and litter the brown earth
ready to devour
the sprouting green grasses
their bloated green entrails
smashed under heavy scurrying feet.
I follow
the narrow wet path
to the tree-clustered rice fields
where my mother seamlessly
planted single blades of rice
burried knee-deep under the rain water
on mounds of cow-dung fertilized soil.
I listen
to the rice field birds sing
their songs melodious
with my mother's joyful humming
her face radiant
as the blade of rice
soar above the muddy water.
Rene
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Momodou
Denmark
11826 Posts |
Posted - 15 Mar 2009 : 12:10:19
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Rene, thank you. I look forward to your contribution in this forum.
I have moved your posting into this new topic, as you can see.
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A clear conscience fears no accusation - proverb from Sierra Leone |
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kaanibaa
United Kingdom
1169 Posts |
Posted - 15 Mar 2009 : 23:24:09
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| Sankalanka, welcome to this forum and I leap with joy that we are going to get another poster , filling our dull moments with such nice poems. Thanks for sending this beautiful poem which am sure sure many readers would find some kind of relationship with in terms of actual experiences etc. your coming would bring in an added variety in style and hopefully lead to an explosion of poetic releases here and else where.Cheers mate! |
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sankalanka
270 Posts |
Posted - 16 Mar 2009 : 02:05:10
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Kaanibaa, thank you.
I have stories that are very lengthy, but for our purposes here I will try and contract them as much as possible to make it shorter.
The village stream was the meeting place for the young people in the village, whenever the rising temperature was at a boiling point.It was in the thick of the dry season. The dry grass shriveled under the intense rays of the burning sun. The trees, their leaves wrinkled and yellow, lost most of their elegant foliage to the scorching sun.
From a distance noises could be heard. There was the shouting and yelling, the exuberant voices of the young people in the village stream, that reveberated into the depths of naked forest within. The forest had lost most of its thick and dense growth of trees. The young people came to the stream when the water receded, to look for oyster and to hunt for crabs. They came to the stream when the tide was full. There they wrestled each other in the water, and fondled and kissed each other. The stream was the place where young lovers meet. It was the place where the young boys and girls in the village eyed each other, and developed an attraction for one another. It was at the village stream where Sengan had his first kiss with her. It was at the village stream where Musukuta discreetly passed that neatly folded piece of paper to him. The hastily scribbled love note made Sengan to wear a big smile; a smile as big as the leaf of a papaya.
Dear Sengan,
I have to admit that I can no longer hold it to myself. I just want to let you know that I love you. You can meet me outside my compound tonight.
Yours,
Musu.
*
NB: This is a short story that I previously shared elsewhere, but would like to recreate it here. I will reproduce it in installments. |
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kaanibaa
United Kingdom
1169 Posts |
Posted - 17 Mar 2009 : 01:55:50
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| Wow , I cannot wait to read more , c'mon bring it on brother. This is getting better by the tick of the second.Yep! |
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kayjatta
2978 Posts |
Posted - 17 Mar 2009 : 08:11:03
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| Very nice exerpt. Look forward to reading more of it. Thanks Rene. |
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sankalanka
270 Posts |
Posted - 18 Mar 2009 : 21:55:08
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The story continues. For lack of a better title, I will just call it "A Short Story".
Sengan was waiting outside Musukuta's compound, shortly after he had taken his dinner. There was a sense of urgency in this arranged meeting, and he was restless. Many a time he had wanted to reveal his own feelings to Musukuta, but always had to give in to that fear of rejection which he couldn't muster. Musukuta vivaciously came outside to meet him. A big smile ignited in both their faces. Without saying a word, they walked slowly together to the village stream, and sat at the edge of the cliff overlooking the mangroove swamps. The night was dreary, but being so close together it gave them comfort. From their vantage point, the main highway dangerously meandered around a dense cluster of palm trees, and like a serpent lazily stretched into the dark contours of the night. The highway was dead except for one or two cars that sped by at very long intervals.
Sengan drew Musukuta much closer to him. They put their hands around each other. They looked at each other, peering in the dark, deeply in the eyes. Then they kissed. They sat there silently for a long time fumbling and groping each other. Sengan began to feel the excruciating excitement; he stood up and tried to lead Musukuta into the bushes and tall shrubs nearby. Musukuta gently pushed him away.
"We have to go back now," Musukuta told Sengan.
"I hope you are not mad with me, Musu?" Sengan asked her.
"You know our culture," Musukuta said. "I should not be here with you at this time of the night. But I want to. Moreover, I am still a maiden."
"I understand and respect that," Sengan replied. "That is why I am not forcing myself on you."
"If you want to be that close to me you should marry me," Musukuta said to him.
"I know," Sengan said. "I should start to work on that. I know your mother will accommodate me. I am not sure about your father."
"You know my mother likes you," Musukuta said. "I think all the mothers in the village like you. They are all secretly hoping that you will marry one of their daughters."
"I think that is true," Sengan replied. "Your mother once asked me if I would like to marry you. Not only you, she also asked if I would like to marry any other girl in the village. She assured me that she would happily arrange that for me."
"And what did you tell her?" Musukuta asked.
"I just looked at her and laughed not knowing what to say," Sengan replied.
"You should be proud of yourself," Musukuta said. "You have something that most people like in you. You carry yourslf well."
"Don't make me blush," Sengan said. "I know you are saying this because you like me."
*
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kaanibaa
United Kingdom
1169 Posts |
Posted - 18 Mar 2009 : 22:57:54
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| C'mon , why are you teasing us,but then we shall wait for the bits.They are sweet juicy peices and I thank you for sharing. This surely begins to indicate a very good reading material coming from you brother , akamma nang! |
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kayjatta
2978 Posts |
Posted - 19 Mar 2009 : 05:57:54
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| I like the use of dialogue. I also like that pristine cultural undertone. But perhaps you should provide more detail about the kissing-physical feelings, thoughts, and some inner dialogue of that first time moment. Or may be this is a deliberate suspense? |
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sankalanka
270 Posts |
Posted - 21 Mar 2009 : 13:22:53
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The story continues.
Sengan was the most popular youth in the village. He was also one of a handful of youths who had been to high school. He was a community development facilitator, and had organized most of the social and sports activties in the village. He had also helped the women in the village form a Village Community Garden project. He was involved in every aspect of the village community, and he was the youth leader.
Sengan was not athlectic, but he had very good looks. The young girls in the village found him to be very attractive. They all competed for his attention, and at one time he had up to three girl friends at the same time. The funniest thing though, was that all the girl friends knew each other; and there was the least problem in sharing him. They were all friends. Sengan had no intimate or sexual relationships with any of the girls. The girls were all virgins. The love escapades and amorous encounters, the touching and groping, the hugging and kissing, all took place only in the dark and in the shadowy street corners; and in the outskirts of the village behind trees and tall grasses.
Sengan was enthused when he found out that Musukuta was secretly in love with him. She was the most difficult woman to go after in the village. Despite being the most beautiful girl in the village, Musukuta was also indifferent to the attention she generated and most of the time stood aloof. While most of the girls were eager to court friendship with the boys, Musukuta was deliberate in her choices. She went after Sengan who was the most popular youth in the village. At the village stream all the girls would gather around her, and they sought her approval to either respond or ignore an expressed interest from a boy. The boys knew this power that she had over the other girls, and they directed their favors to her if they wanted to court any girl.
Many a time as Sengan trudged in and out of Musukuta's compound to meet Ma Binta, she always exchanged curious but exciting glances with him. Ma Binta was Musukuta's mother, and was the president of the Women's Community Garden project that Sengan founded. Musukuta and Sengan developed a mutual interest for each other. They became close friends. When Musukuta passed that neatly folded piece of paper to him at the village stream, Sengan became more bold and assertive in expressing his love to her.
In all of their courtship, Musukuta seldom visited Sengan in his compound. They met most of the time outside her compound, and sometimes they took a walk to the outskirts of the village and to the village stream. One evening, however, as the clouds gathered and the thunder raoared for an expected rain, Sengan lured Musukuta to his house. When she entered his bedroom she was scared and appeared fidgety. She would not sit on the bed. Sengan stood with her at a corner in the room; he kissed and fondled her passionately. Musukuta pleaded with him to stop, and with a very strong resolve she again gently pushed him away.
"I have to leave. Take me home now," Muskuta said.
"Don't you want to be alone with me, Musu?" Sengan asked.
"I want to, but I am also afraid of the temptation", Musukuta said. "I cannot go as far as you want. You have to understand that."
"I do understand, Musu. I just can't help it when I am alone with you. You are beautiful."
"How many times have you said that to me?" Musukuta asked. "Am I more beautiful than your other girl friends?"
"Yes, you are. I want to make you happy," Sengan said.
"Then you know what you have to do. I will be waiting. Take me home now," Musukuta said in a tone of finality.
Sengan led Musukauta out of his room and into the dark and cloudy night. They kept quiet on the short walk to her house, and at the verandah of the house he lightly kissed her on the cheek. Musukuta slowly turned her head and mischievously looked at him. With a long grin on her face, she smiled.
"You know Satan almost overcome you tonight. What would have happened if you took my...?" She didn't complete the question.
Without think hard, Sengan said: "Then I will marry you."
"I know that is what you are going to say," Musukata replied. Shen planted a big kiss on Sengan's lips and dissappeared into the house. |
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kaanibaa
United Kingdom
1169 Posts |
Posted - 21 Mar 2009 : 22:05:04
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| Yei deh!Intriguing episode this , so we wait for the next stage of this unfolding drama.I am almost picturing myself in this setting and trying to forecast what happens next. This one is interesting to read and so once again brother, I say taling deema, the snippets are getting juicier by the second.Abaraka |
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Karl
136 Posts |
Posted - 22 Mar 2009 : 12:18:18
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Sankalanka,
Am following this with great interest. Thanks for the exitement, keep it up. Thanks |
"People who shut their eyes to reality simply invite their own destruction, and anyone who insists on remaining in a state of innocence long after that innocence is dead turns himself into a monster" J Baldwin |
Edited by - Karl on 23 Mar 2009 15:54:07 |
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sankalanka
270 Posts |
Posted - 23 Mar 2009 : 01:31:37
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Thanks to all for the positive reaction to this short story. Kay, your observations previously are well noted. This story is just like a sketch, an outline, that has the potential of being developed into a larger body of work. When that time comes, a lot of work will be put in making the characters come alive; the scenes much expanded, the dialogue more comprehensive and the village seting more elaborate. Be rest assured that your feedbacks are also giving me more ideas.
The story continues.
Sengan was so excited with the proposed night dance at the Mangoro house. This was another opportunity to meet and cuddle with Musukuta the whole night. The night dances had become a frequent enterprise in the village, and most of the time were orgainzed at the spur of the moment. When Lang Kinteh, the prominent taxi driver at Kinteh kunda bought a record turntable, the youths turned to him whenever they wanted to organize a dance. Before, they had to contend with tuning the radio on the music program on Radio Syd, and turned the volume to some crude speakers. When there was a commercial they took a break.
However, it was not easy to always borrow Lang's turntable. Sometimes it took a lot of coaxing before Lang would part with his record turntable. Besides displacing the small group who gathered at Lang's sparse living room each and every night, soulfully listening to the Mbembia Jazz band records and drinking Attaya, Lang's turntable was very, very close to his heart.
The Mangoro house, the decrepit and abandoned mud building in that compound clustered with mango trees, and ideally situated at the outskirts of the village, became the rendezvous for the night dances.
"Make sure that when you bring back the turntable that nothing is wrong with it," Lang said to Sengan.
"It is under my responsibility, Lang," Sengan replied. "Be rest assured that I will bring it back in the same condition that you are giving it to me."
"Alright! Alright! get out of my sight you naughty boys," Lang said, as he dismissed the sweet-talking group headed by Sengan who came to borrow his turntable. Sengan clutched the record turntable under his armpit, and the group trudging behind, they headed to the Mangoro house.
At the Mangoro house all inhibitions were let loose. The house was illuminated with candles and hurricane lamps. The dancing room was lit with only candles. When a soul record was played, the candles were easily snuffed out and the room set in complete darkness. Someone had a box of matches handy to lit the candles again when the record ended. The soul records were the highlights of the night. Once the records started all the boys scrambled to grap the few girls who happened to be available that night. There usually was a fierce competition, especially if two boys were trying to win the attention of the same girl.
Sengan and Musukuta were at a corner in the room, tightly locked in each other's arms. The soothing voice of Marvin Gaye in the record, Sexual Healing, lulled them to sleep. Musukuta, her eyes closed, calmly rested her head on Sengan's shoulder. Her hands were tightly wraped around his waist. Sengan was savoring every minute of this moment. Nothing else seem to matter at this moment; only the closeness, the burning passion that seem to ignite all the strong feelings that they have for each other.
At the first crow of the cock, Sengan sneaked Musukuta back into her house before her father woke up for the first morning prayer, and realized that she was not at home. Her mother knew that she was out, but for most of the time her father was kept in the dark, and had no knowledge of the small escapades that his daughter was engaged in. He was very strict.
The night dances at the Mangoro house, were the monotonous routine to which the young people in the village engaged their boring love relationships. It afforded them the opportunity to be very close to each other; to share the joy and excitement of being in each other's company. This was all they had. The young women in the village were virtuous; they helped their parents with domestic chores, and were innocent in their approaches to their love affairs. But everything changed when Maimuna moved to the village from Banjul.
Rene |
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kayjatta
2978 Posts |
Posted - 23 Mar 2009 : 11:40:15
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Thanks Rene. Your descriptions are very vivid and somewhat nostalgic. Years ago I tried to capture a similar event/occasion in this poem below:
RIDE ALONG A RAINBOW:
February temperatures are
Moderate in West Africa
The Hamattan blows from the desert over
Expands the night away where
Short day plants flower
Humans too, danced at the occasion to bring many over
From near and afar
To vote this social approval
Yet the eyes that looked despite sad
Marked years of deprivation what
To bind the collective mind
Poverty 's alive and winning here
Yet passions 'd emerge as the night wears
Glandular frenzy into a mess of life wires
Danced the voluminous night away
As Mbaye Nderr played Tyson that
Sooth the biochemical rage at
The pursuit snaking poetically alert
Through the frenzied crowd ah !
Radiating beauty across the spectrum there
Wanted to ride along a rainbow I
Like a stubborn kid away
To a utopian world of gorgeous sunrises far
From the science city that
Lived all my live I 'd
Of happy singles worst than unhappy couples where
The birds sing for the silent night that
Beat the breast at zero gravity under
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sankalanka
270 Posts |
Posted - 23 Mar 2009 : 22:49:34
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Kay, an astute observation in your poem; inspite of the poverty and deprivation, people will always find a cause to celebrate; indeed, the celebration of life. Nice poem. Keep it up.
Rene |
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kayjatta
2978 Posts |
Posted - 24 Mar 2009 : 07:06:13
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Thanks Sankalanka. Please continue your post, we are enjoying the story line ...
But Sengan seems too good to be true, perhaps there will be troubles in the future with regards to his personality, I am not sure. He has the good looks, fame, leadership and almost always get an easy pass with girls (many of them at one time) who often know about one another ...; and there seem to be a little bit of an ego in him ...
Would this guy really settle down? Or is this just of part youth? He has so far handled Musu well by not being too 'pushy'. I am already thinking too far ahead, but we will see. Keep posting my friend ... |
Edited by - kayjatta on 24 Mar 2009 07:11:22 |
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