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serenata
Germany
1400 Posts |
 Posted - 16 Oct 2008 : 15:17:45
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A fundamental question: Is it allowed for a Muslim to visit internet porn sites, and/or to make porn dating contacts via internet? If it is not allowed (I think this is the case): Which consequences does a muslim face if he/she breaks this commandment?
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Edited by - serenata on 16 Oct 2008 15:32:26 |
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musa pembo
United Kingdom
154 Posts |
Posted - 16 Oct 2008 : 16:36:18
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Hello serenata,Muslims are prevented by sharia to visit such sites or watch satellites Channels that shows pornography movies.visiting such sites and watching the action is tantamounted to the person commiting Zina or Adultery.So therefore,common decency apart from religious pronouncements should deter us from such action.
The consequences for the crime of Zina(adultery) include flogging up to one hundred lashes,for unmarried people and stoning to death for married people.This is meant as a deterrent to keep society unpolluted,but no serious Islamic scholar in Europe or America or even in muslim country should go down this route because there are serious guidelines that must be met:-
1.The act of Zina must be witnessed by four people,who actually witness the act of Zina taking place!
2The offender must be sane.
3.He must be a muslim.
4.He must have reach the age of Puberty.
5.He must be a free man and not a slave.
The above standards are therefore very demanding to prove,and in case of any doubt,the Qadi(judge) must give the accuse the benefit of the doubt.
The Holy Quran admonishes us"Do not come nearer to adultery for it is a shameful(deed)and an evil,opening the road(to other evils){Holy Quran:17:32}The Prophet(SAW)has declared ZINA to be the greatest sin after SHIRK.The person who by looking does such an act must repent sincerely and promised never to repeat them.He has committed Zina by looking.The person should be encouraged to make use of his time in a purposefully manner like reading the Holy Quran,Memorising the Quran,Reading the Sirah of our Prophet and a host of other things to keep him occupied.Failing all this,he should engaged in vuluntary Fasting.This is the month of Shawwal,he should been engaged in Fasting.Normally idleness,frustration or lack of motivation leads to such practices.This should be enough for Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is Al-Forgiving.Al-Merciful
I hope this help.
The best of salam,
Musa |
Edited by - musa pembo on 17 Oct 2008 00:21:37 |
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serenata
Germany
1400 Posts |
Posted - 16 Oct 2008 : 19:01:44
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Thank you, musa pembo, for your information!
A friend of mine, married to a muslim (no Gambian) quarreled with her husband about this question and they are close to getting divorced. She found out that he was dating bad women (we think they were prostitutes) from a porn site. The man always pretends to be a good muslim, eating Halal food, praying every day, etc. But I fear this won't help him in the eyes of Allah. I think he is nothing but a 'good' liar and hypocrite.  |
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mbay
Germany
1007 Posts |
Posted - 16 Oct 2008 : 20:17:43
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Volltreffer! A good question serenata
I also heard that this is a very big and good-underground business in the Gambia!
Back to your interest, I personal shear the same with Musa P.
this is subjecting in connection with some instructions from Allah subuhanu wataala which has also been firmly confirmed from the prophet as well as the early Islamic Caliphas /scholars that any thing that you have two mind about being positive or negative, then diced for the positive, “leave it!" in another word if you see things like this which is out of your reach the keep out. Or it may bring more sorrow than joy then don’t go and do it, those are not your wife /husband. So doing it then you are tempting negatively. So why then going there.
There is some Hadith where we can draws it to this questions.
But i also remember my time in Arabian Peninsula, where i meet some whom believes been some kind of high ranking Muslim, having porno video in their safe! asking them why, the answer is short and was" it was never forbidding before by satisfying your wife/husband, so we don’t how to do it so we have to learn it and that is what we are doing.to learn from these videos".
But serenata, that seems to be different topic with your interest about the porno. (?)
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musa pembo
United Kingdom
154 Posts |
Posted - 16 Oct 2008 : 20:55:31
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Serenata,Thanks for your reply.Since the Lady is your friend I would suggest you talk to her for her to calm down despite the betrayal of trust and not to take the divorce route yet.Divorce in Islam is seriously discouraged,even though it is allowed.It must always be the weapon of last resort.I would suggest with your help to get the couple to have an open frank and honest discussion to found out why this man is engaged in such practices,that is visiting sex sites,and getting involved with Prostitutes.I believe such discussion will get to the bottom of the problem.
Generally,when women discover such behaviour from their partners,they feel humiliated,betrayal of trust,and a certain amount of Self-doubt and a feeling of inadequacy crept in.
On the other hand,some of us men are generally greedy,selfish,lack of consideration for the feelings of our partner and to crown it all,some of us are just too over-sexed,some men like to have sex every day of the week,and if the woman can cope and satisfy the man,that fellow is bound to wonder somewhere else,to satisfy his insatiable demand for sex.This therefore calls for the understanding and tolerance of both partners,as to how they resolve the problem.
When once the problem has been identify,remedial action can and should be taken to save the relationship.
Your roll as an honest broker and your choice of words is very important in this instance and please dont takes sides.Be Neutral.
Regarding your assertion of who is a good Muslim,let us leave that in the hands of Almighty Allah,for He alone knows our strength and weaknesses,outwards appearances can be wholly deceptive.He has however exihited sign of hypocrisy,which is a grave Sin in Islam
I hope and pray the fellow realises his mistakes by first asking his wife for forgiveness and then asking Allah for the ultimate forgiveness.
Let me qoute for you a passage from the Holy Quran "Therefore,congratulate my servants who listen to all views,then follow the best.These are the ones guided by God.They are the intelligent ones." ( sura 39:17-18).
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is al-merciful and forgiving.
The best of salam,
Musa. |
Edited by - musa pembo on 16 Oct 2008 23:08:52 |
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turk
USA
3356 Posts |
Posted - 17 Oct 2008 : 06:51:32
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quote:
your help to get the couple to have an open frank and honest discussion to found out why this man is engaged in such practices,that is visiting sex sites,and getting involved with Prostitutes
That is the way do it. Maybe the husband some fantasies with his wife, and the wife is not willing to do that. But, it is very unlikely muslim families to have an open discussion about their sexual fantasies. Even there is nothing in islam that prevents that. It is unwritten rule. Don't talk about sex.
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diaspora! Too many Chiefs and Very Few Indians.
Halifa Salah: PDOIS is however realistic. It is fully aware that the Gambian voters are yet to reach a level of political consciousness that they rely on to vote on the basis of Principles, policies and programmes and practices. |
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serenata
Germany
1400 Posts |
Posted - 17 Oct 2008 : 07:23:36
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Wise words, musa pembo, and also good advice from you, mbay and turk. I thank you all very much. And really: I'll try to stay neutral!
I personally don't see such a problem in watching pornography, as long as it is not violent and/or humiliating and the consumer is mature enough to realize that porn scenes are fictive and not reality. What I don't understand is that anyone can find those mostly poor concoctions erotic in any way. But this is a different question and I think it has more to do with male and female ways of perception...
The dating, however, is more problematic. The husband says that these dates never threatened his marriage, and I believe him, but my friend feels deeply hurt at the moment. I'll try my best to calm down the conflict. You are right: They should talk, talk, talk!!! |
Edited by - serenata on 17 Oct 2008 07:25:38 |
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Santanfara
3460 Posts |
Posted - 20 Oct 2008 : 13:25:19
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| what happen to girl power sere? porn is a dangerous business were the underworld rule. and again porn adick are more culperable to commiting rape. it is an act of escapism just like drugs. it should be avoided at all cost. |
Surah- Ar-Rum 30-22
"And among His signs is the creation of heavens and the earth, and the difference of your languages and colours. verily, in that are indeed signs for men of sound knowledge." Qu'ran
www.suntoumana.blogspot.com |
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Formby
United Kingdom
246 Posts |
Posted - 20 Oct 2008 : 23:27:46
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| The man has been sexually unfaithful to his wife and has betrayed his marriage vows because he lacks the will of self-control. He has not merely looked at porn but has engaged in the physical act with prostitues who may carry diseases that he could pass to his wife and he has done this habitually. That is what I gather. Of course this threatened his marriage. If a husband or a wife does this, can they really ever do anything to mend the damage? That, surely, is a question for the victim, not for a religious creed. Although, I know, the original question was 'what does the Islamic creed say'. But divorce is not necessarily a weapon. It is also a resort, or a refuge. |
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serenata
Germany
1400 Posts |
Posted - 22 Oct 2008 : 09:25:26
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Santanfara and Formby, you have very good arguments. I myself consider pornography per se as humiliating for the performers, the producers and the consumers. And dating prostitutes is out of the question.
But let us be realistic. It seems that people in all times had a need for sexual pictures: E.g. the ancient Egyptians knew pornographic drawings, the temples of Khajurao/India show very explicit scenes, Pompeji is famous for its erotical murals, the Mochica in Peru made 'pornographic' pottery.
All this is considered as art. And I see the most important difference to todays pornography that no 'real' people appeared on these artifacts. This in special makes our modern forms of pornography so distasteful. |
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toubab1020
12314 Posts |
Posted - 22 Oct 2008 : 09:35:35
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| Serenata, What is ART? ,there is that German man who strips the flesh of dead bodies and displays the muscles and bones,is that Art? I think that such a display could be pornagraphic.Is this "artist" completly mad or sane and just displaying his talents? |
"Simple is good" & I strongly dislike politics. You cannot defend the indefensible.
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Formby
United Kingdom
246 Posts |
Posted - 22 Oct 2008 : 12:03:38
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| Sexual pictures may be one thing. The physical act is another. And to add to the list of evils, they cost money, which this man could have spent on his family. |
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serenata
Germany
1400 Posts |
Posted - 22 Oct 2008 : 12:53:35
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Formby, of course you are right. So what would you do if you were in our friends' place? End the marriage? Those two have children. Do you think it is good for the children to grow up without their father? I don't. Sorry, but I see too many traumatised children of divorced parents every day...
The husband is not a bad man, and he cares for his family. He knows that he made big mistakes. Would you give him a second chance? |
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Formby
United Kingdom
246 Posts |
Posted - 22 Oct 2008 : 13:28:50
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Ahh...that is why I say it's a decision for the 'victim', Sere.
Personally I would not be able to touch a man who had done that because it's very important for me to respect a man in order to be with him and to love him properly and after that, I would look down on him for his weak nature. But that is just me. |
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Formby
United Kingdom
246 Posts |
Posted - 23 Oct 2008 : 01:32:47
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| I would like to respectfully invite Musa Pembo to comment again here. He was kind enough to reply comprehensively to the OP. I have had many a good conversation with educated Muslims about the philosophy of the Islamic creed and I know that it's pretty accommodating towards women. Musa, if the woman really was wronged beyond redemption, if she was shamed to the point where she was a fool for staying, what would the creed say? |
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turk
USA
3356 Posts |
Posted - 23 Oct 2008 : 03:24:45
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sorry formby
are you girl or boy?
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diaspora! Too many Chiefs and Very Few Indians.
Halifa Salah: PDOIS is however realistic. It is fully aware that the Gambian voters are yet to reach a level of political consciousness that they rely on to vote on the basis of Principles, policies and programmes and practices. |
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