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MADIBA
United Kingdom
1275 Posts |
 Posted - 24 Mar 2008 : 04:20:05
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ADIEU
The phone rang
Early in the morning
Crackling was the voice
Crackling with Fear
Crackling with Disbelief
Crackling with Weight
Have you heard?
What?
The news from home
No!!
Pulo is deeeeeeeead!
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat?
When? How?
Brief Illness
In flashes
The sad news hit the waves
From the Kombos to the Niaminas
London, Dallas, Birmingham,
Paris, Taipei, Oslo
The amplified waves of melancholy hit everywhere
In it ways to reach far away Melbourne
Pulo is no-more!
Hollowness crept in
My world crumpled in
Tears rolled down my cheeks
Your explosive laughter
The trademark of our meetings
Filled my room
I pinched myself
Yes am alive!
Am awake!
It’s not a dream
My mind went into motion
Your images thru the years
Immediately reconstructed
I saw you grow from a toddler
To a teenage girl
To a beautiful young woman
Full of life and vigour
Charming many souls
Warming many souls as well
Pulo full of life
Always wearing a white smile
White like the morn milk
Pulo of the grace of the gazelle
Pulo of the gentility of the lamb
Pulo the charming princess
A lady in her prime
Your life may have been brief
But surely useful
If only the doctor saw you on time
If only we knew your ailment on time
If this, if that
The ifs kept on following
Confirming the vulnerability of man
Confirming the ignorance of man
With reference to the END
Death is certain
Allah does what pleases Him
When it pleases Him
We are mere mortal objects
Indeed dead is for real!
Adieu my Princess
Surely gone
But never forgotten
Your memory lives on
Until I meet you again in heaven
I say
Yow Allah Yurrmo, Yafoo Ma
Sleep well Pulo
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madiss |
Edited by - MADIBA on 24 Mar 2008 04:20:54 |
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Dalton1
3485 Posts |
Posted - 24 Mar 2008 : 04:34:02
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Bro Madis,
For the short time that I shared threads here, I have never seen you weep like this, not anyone else. It must be someone close and dear, a far relative from the Gambia. The kind of obituary announcement on radio to alert far away relatives typical of Gambia. Accept my sympathy, please. The kinds of partings are inevitable. Whether a daughter, sister or someone else closest, it must be a touching one.
Remember though when God said "kuli nafsin eja ekatil mawt" i.e that every soul will test of death.
Allahuma igfirlaha. Amen. May almighty Allah grant her jannah. amen.
Regards,
comrade
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"There is no god but Allah (SWT); and Muhammad (SAW)is His last messenger." shahadah. Fear & Worship Allah (SWT) Alone! (:
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Edited by - Dalton1 on 24 Mar 2008 04:38:04 |
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MADIBA
United Kingdom
1275 Posts |
Posted - 24 Mar 2008 : 04:40:03
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quote:
Originally posted by Dalton1
Bro Madis,
For the short time that I shared threads here, I have seen you weep like this, not anyone else. It must be someone close and dear, a far relative. Accept my sympathy, please. The kinds of partings are inevitable. Whether a daughter, sister or someone else closest, it must be a touching one.
Allahuma igfirlaha. Amen. May almighty Allah grant her jannah. amen.
Regards,
comrade
Tanx Yero
She was closed to me until i travelled to the UK. last saw her just alittle over 2yrs. I left her fit and well. I regularly called her.
A very simple sister! |
madiss |
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kayjatta
2978 Posts |
Posted - 24 Mar 2008 : 08:19:44
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I am sincerely sorry for your loss, Madiba. May the fair lady rest in perfect peace. I know exactly what you mean; i lost my own cousin brother in the Gambia just about two months ago. We grew up together, did everything together until education and travel separated us. He was the friendliest person I have ever known. Every time I visited Niumi, we gathered at his house- groups of people all the time-he made attaya for us and kept us laughing through the night. That was how friendly, funny, and 'people-personed' he was.
I decided to mourn him in private (now I have broken that) and keeps getting memories of him coming to me at odd hours of the day and night; and my wife has observed my recent attachment to the music of Ndongo Lo apparently because of his physical similarity to my late brother {please Serenata, do not try to judge me on this okay :)}.
Again I am sorry for your loss. Having said that allow me to examine your poem a little bit, even though Great Dalton has had his critical eye on it already.
This is not my type of a short precision-guided poem, the type for a socio-political target.It is however long enough to pour out a grieving heart. This poem is certainly about a love lost, not in the fashion of Milton's "Paradise Lost". The poem is entilted "Adieu" meaning good bye (a farewell, perhaps a Latin word for "to God". Certainly Pulo is to God in this case.
I like the simile "white smile, white like the morn milk" that compares a smile to the whiteness of fresh milk (morn milk = morning milk). There is a subtle connection between Pulo (the only character of the poem) to milk. Your readers cannot fail to realize the connection between Pulo (the young girl here) and Fulani tribe, as well as that of milk with cattle. By extension we see the connection between the traditional connection (at least by perception) between Fulani and cattle. How does Pulo fit into this connection and inter-connection I am not sure (may be Dalton can help here).
In the tenth stanza, I believe, you compared her to the "grace of the gazelle" and the "gentility of the lamb", both are kind of metaphors, but certainly not trite. Both the gazelle and the lamb are vulnerable animals (although gazelles are endowed with fast running skills), are you perhaps alluding to the "...vulnerability of man..." to the ultimate inevitability of death as you mentioned later in the poem?
You have also talked about "how the ifs kept coming..."; how Pulo has not been seen by a doctor, how "we" did not know of her ailment on time, "If this...if that". This appears to fit the guilt driven retroactive thinking characteristic of many in mourning. yet you seems to justify or at least rationalize Pulo's death to God's power to 'kill' as He wishes.There is an inherent risk of contradiction here, but I think what makes your poem successful is that you have really solved the initial problem of Pulo's death by rationalization, a very useful coping mechanism.
However, more pragmatic readers of yours will still ponder the question of whether Pulo might have lived if medical care had been properly available in the Gambia. I will restrain myself from going into politics this time, but thank you for your poem and thanks for sharing... |
Edited by - kayjatta on 24 Mar 2008 09:41:44 |
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jambo
3300 Posts |
Posted - 24 Mar 2008 : 10:59:43
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| Pulo is with the angels, my prayers are with you and your family for your loss. PEACE |
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MADIBA
United Kingdom
1275 Posts |
Posted - 24 Mar 2008 : 11:41:04
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Tanx Jambo, Tanx Kay. Iam sorry too for ur late brother.
What motivated my poem to this sister, is she's always around in my dreams and i 'feel' her presence most of the time around me.
Kay I must confess your poetic appreciation is strong. The poem is loaded with some poetic devices. The way you dissected the poem is amazing. The white smile is a simile, becos her teeth were execptionally white and when you meet her even for the first time, its the white smile that you will first notice.
The gazelle simile is to decribe her slender build, her brownish colour and in most comununities the gazelle is the embodiment of beauty , grace and nobiliy. You got it rigth despite all these, the gazelle is exposed to the predators.
Many thanks for sharing and the kind sentiments. |
madiss |
Edited by - MADIBA on 24 Mar 2008 11:42:57 |
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kayjatta
2978 Posts |
Posted - 24 Mar 2008 : 12:15:50
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| Thanks for a great poem... |
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Dalton1
3485 Posts |
Posted - 24 Mar 2008 : 14:06:21
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Bro Kay,
please accept my sympathy as well.
The dripping tears in the poem above and your forwarded analysis is really touching. I must confess that for the short time in my life, I have never been so touched by a poem about a death person -for the ones that I followed.
Once more, my sympathies to all of you. May those gone rest in perfect peace. amen.
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"There is no god but Allah (SWT); and Muhammad (SAW)is His last messenger." shahadah. Fear & Worship Allah (SWT) Alone! (:
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mbay
Germany
1007 Posts |
Posted - 24 Mar 2008 : 22:19:25
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Qafra Li-Allah Wali-Naamathum.
Madi /Kay, So sorry for the uncomfort news.
May Both of love one rest in peace and may you be far from receiving a such news again.
And thanks both for this brilliant poem. |
Edited by - mbay on 24 Mar 2008 22:22:57 |
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MADIBA
United Kingdom
1275 Posts |
Posted - 25 Mar 2008 : 00:26:10
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Mbay, tanx for the kind sentiments.
Danke! |
madiss |
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kobo
United Kingdom
7765 Posts |
Posted - 25 Mar 2008 : 01:51:02
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| What a POEM Madis? Condolences and PRAYERS! Ameen! |
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kayjatta
2978 Posts |
Posted - 25 Mar 2008 : 05:41:51
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| Thanks Dalton, thanks Mbay. |
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Momodou
Denmark
11829 Posts |
Posted - 25 Mar 2008 : 08:11:08
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| Madiba, this poem is very moving. Please accept my heartfelt condolences. May her soul rest in peace and may Allah grant her Jannah. |
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MADIBA
United Kingdom
1275 Posts |
Posted - 25 Mar 2008 : 10:36:33
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Kobo, Momodou tanx very much for your prayers and kind sentiments.
I am deeply touched by the huge condelences from the bantaba members. Tank you all for your support. God Bless You! |
madiss |
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Santanfara
3460 Posts |
Posted - 25 Mar 2008 : 13:16:46
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| madis, may Allah bless the soul of the deseased person.amen. |
Surah- Ar-Rum 30-22
"And among His signs is the creation of heavens and the earth, and the difference of your languages and colours. verily, in that are indeed signs for men of sound knowledge." Qu'ran
www.suntoumana.blogspot.com |
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MADIBA
United Kingdom
1275 Posts |
Posted - 25 Mar 2008 : 19:59:52
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| Santa, tanx for the sympathy and prayers. God bless you too. |
madiss |
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