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Santanfara
3460 Posts |
 Posted - 05 Mar 2008 : 10:50:09
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quote:
Originally posted by kayjatta
May be if the Gambia have child support and spousal support laws, many gambians (men) will seriously consider the implications of taking multiple wives and alienating the first wife.
Many women in the Gambia end up trapped in a polygamous marriage without the option of a divorce not only because of cultural pressure but also economic pressure. The man (husband) becomes and maybe has been her destiny. Child and spousal support laws can be important tools in empowering women in a marital relatioship...
good obseravtion kay.thanks |
Surah- Ar-Rum 30-22
"And among His signs is the creation of heavens and the earth, and the difference of your languages and colours. verily, in that are indeed signs for men of sound knowledge." Qu'ran
www.suntoumana.blogspot.com |
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Santanfara
3460 Posts |
Posted - 05 Mar 2008 : 10:53:05
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some body posted a comment on my blog .read her comment and my response.
''Anonymous said...
suntu, thanks for your nice pice. i know sombody who has similar problem but i think he has some justice on his side. imagine you were one of these men. your old queen makes your life a hell; she insults your mother and calls her whore, she never respect you, and she tells your childrens bad things about you, and when you call you always get angry becos she say bad thing to you, will you still love her and treat her as queen? I think it is hypocritical of you to pass judgemnt without thinking of the other side of the coin. As a muslim i adivse you to be careful before judging because then you will be a big hypocrit and not muslim. take heed.''
sister F.
Wednesday, 5 March 2008
RESPONSE TO A COMMENT ON 'O MEN OF TODAY'S POEM'
Thank you sister F for good comment. As you may know, poems are another form of communicating a difficult factual message. I wrote the poem after observing numerous relationships were the first wife got side-lined due to age and the passage of time. Remember, relationships have there good and bad periods. But when a man ,for some reason took another woman and then devout all his energy ,his love and commits 95% of his love to the new bride,that is never going to be right sister F.
I full understand that, in every situation there two sides to a story. It's my intention to divulge further into our Senegambian cultures and traditions and certainly with time i will comment about the other side. For now ,we have to look at the woes that men are responsible of. It's men who marries women in our society and many other societies. So it should be men who should make sure all is well and every party to a relationship is treated well and fairly. My exposing of the problems of multiple marriage relationship isn't meant to attack any one. I acknowledged that ,this is an ugly phenomenon that goes across our tribal and cultural sphere of things. The social dynamics in Senegambia is such that ,complex issues are seen as a taboo to discuss. we can talk and write about politics all day long without any hindrance, but comments dealing with our social failing is hard to talk about. Finally ,i am a decent person. I guard my religious and spiritual life very carefully. I am very jealous of my deen. If you know what that means. I try my best not to carry any body's sin with me. Some people might feel that i knew some thing about them that is why i wrote the poem. That is incorrect. This is a general statement which is a warning even to myself. I have a lovely wife ,we marry young and we will grow old together God willing. If i decide to take another woman,i know 100% my wife will be heart broken. I know that. So it is a warning to me, and to all other men out there. Islam permits polygamy. But God warns those doing it to be fair and balance in dealing with the trust, that is the wives. Women will always compete for the heart of the man, that is expected. But the first wife deserve good treatment by the husband no matter her tantrums, remember she is in shock. The warnings against being bais in a relationship is so severe that if we know the full extent of the implications, we will go about it with great care. I am not a hypocrite if that of your statement concern this poem. I pray that the Almighty guide us all in the straight path and make us good people.
www.suntoumana.blogspot.com
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Surah- Ar-Rum 30-22
"And among His signs is the creation of heavens and the earth, and the difference of your languages and colours. verily, in that are indeed signs for men of sound knowledge." Qu'ran
www.suntoumana.blogspot.com |
Edited by - Santanfara on 05 Mar 2008 11:05:04 |
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kayjatta
2978 Posts |
Posted - 05 Mar 2008 : 12:54:58
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| Yeah, truth indeed hurts some people... |
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