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Eve
Gambia
344 Posts |
 Posted - 08 Aug 2007 : 21:27:54
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A young guy sent colanuts to my family for my sister of 18yr, the guy is about 20yr, they boths going to school, what do u all think about this??????
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gambian |
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mansasulu
997 Posts |
Posted - 08 Aug 2007 : 22:06:10
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| If they can survive as a couple (family), love each other, lets get on with the program! (lol) |
"...Verily, in the remembrance of Allâh do hearts find rest..." Sura Al-Rad (Chapter 13, Verse 28)
...Gambian by birth, Muslim by the grace of Allah... |
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Sibo
Denmark
231 Posts |
Posted - 09 Aug 2007 : 08:56:19
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If they think they can work it out and are determine to do it, then why not??
I wish them all the best in life |
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jambo
3300 Posts |
Posted - 09 Aug 2007 : 09:55:43
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not sure what the problem is, are you against them getting married because of age!, social class, what. They may not get married for a couple of years. DO NOT PUT WESTERN STANDARDS OF AGE AS BARRIERS ON AFRICANS.
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Santanfara
3460 Posts |
Posted - 09 Aug 2007 : 11:02:45
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quote:
Originally posted by jambo
not sure what the problem is, are you against them getting married because of age!, social class, what. They may not get married for a couple of years. DO NOT PUT WESTERN STANDARDS OF AGE AS BARRIERS ON AFRICANS.
even in the west people married young some times .so the west is no problem here .may be our sister is thinking about there survival or she may be thinking some thing else .i married at 25 ,i don't want to have a girl friend or lover so i choose my partner and we married after some formalities.i see no problem unless they will depend on you for needs . |
Surah- Ar-Rum 30-22
"And among His signs is the creation of heavens and the earth, and the difference of your languages and colours. verily, in that are indeed signs for men of sound knowledge." Qu'ran
www.suntoumana.blogspot.com |
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jambo
3300 Posts |
Posted - 09 Aug 2007 : 13:12:53
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| i thought that the question was of age, that is why it was mentioned. |
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Eve
Gambia
344 Posts |
Posted - 09 Aug 2007 : 13:19:52
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quote:
Originally posted by Santanfara
quote:
Originally posted by jambo
not sure what the problem is, are you against them getting married because of age!, social class, what. They may not get married for a couple of years. DO NOT PUT WESTERN STANDARDS OF AGE AS BARRIERS ON AFRICANS.
even in the west people married young some times .so the west is no problem here .may be our sister is thinking about there survival or she may be thinking some thing else .i married at 25 ,i don't want to have a girl friend or lover so i choose my partner and we married after some formalities.i see no problem unless they will depend on you for needs .
thanks santanfara,
I was thinking about their survival, do u imagine if those two get marry, who will be responsible them, they are all ''ebadu'' what they used to tell them, in their ''direr' that what they believe in, they all going to school and doing well, why not continue their education and later look for job to able to live good together later, even if they get children, they may able to help their own children, is this id not better than if they love each other y not, how about their future who will be there for them, even if they start making babies, as they don't believe in condon or pills, will have 1000 children and will say God is great, ''yala yala baye se toll'' as the Wolof used to said, i used to help, but would like to see her get good future with all am helping, until she can help her own family, not to depend on people. |
gambian |
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Eve
Gambia
344 Posts |
Posted - 09 Aug 2007 : 13:32:38
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quote:
Originally posted by jambo
i thought that the question was of age, that is why it was mentioned.
Jambo, not just the age, but their future 2, maybe u had about how Gambia not that easy now, so it's good to think about getting marry in 18yr, as our boys can get married up to three or four wives, and i love my sister much, not to see her suffering, she is free to marry to anyone she feels like, but she can plan a better life first. |
gambian |
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serenata
Germany
1400 Posts |
Posted - 09 Aug 2007 : 14:12:18
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| Eve, I don't see a problem as long as they don't have children before they finish school/training/university and have their own money. |
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kobo
United Kingdom
7765 Posts |
Posted - 09 Aug 2007 : 15:45:18
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Lets blessed then as the general consensus agreed for approval to go-ahead! Allahuma alaa saaidina Muhamadin wa saalim! Ameen! 
Distribute the cola nuts for bantaba through Uncle Momodou please. May God guide them in their relationship and new venture of life. "Wa saalamu alaakum!" |
Edited by - kobo on 09 Aug 2007 15:46:10 |
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Santanfara
3460 Posts |
Posted - 09 Aug 2007 : 16:53:26
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quote:
Originally posted by Eve
quote:
Originally posted by Santanfara
quote:
Originally posted by jambo
not sure what the problem is, are you against them getting married because of age!, social class, what. They may not get married for a couple of years. DO NOT PUT WESTERN STANDARDS OF AGE AS BARRIERS ON AFRICANS.
even in the west people married young some times .so the west is no problem here .may be our sister is thinking about there survival or she may be thinking some thing else .i married at 25 ,i don't want to have a girl friend or lover so i choose my partner and we married after some formalities.i see no problem unless they will depend on you for needs .
thanks santanfara,
I was thinking about their survival, do u imagine if those two get marry, who will be responsible them, they are all ''ebadu'' what they used to tell them, in their ''direr' that what they believe in, they all going to school and doing well, why not continue their education and later look for job to able to live good together later, even if they get children, they may able to help their own children, is this id not better than if they love each other y not, how about their future who will be there for them, even if they start making babies, as they don't believe in condon or pills, will have 1000 children and will say God is great, ''yala yala baye se toll'' as the Wolof used to said, i used to help, but would like to see her get good future with all am helping, until she can help her own family, not to depend on people.
sister eve ,your concern is very valid and i applaud you for that .but i will remind you that the religious person see the world in a different way so don't belittle their ways of saying it will work out. i will advice both parties to think through the responsilities ahead .our noble prophet advice us to get married early to safe guard society .but the man should be capable of fending for his family and your sister should be able to take her role in the relationship but if they are to depend on people ,then it is not a wise decision .we cannot just say God will provide without having any thing to hinge on .May Allah guide them in there noble decision ,i am for marriage any time . |
Surah- Ar-Rum 30-22
"And among His signs is the creation of heavens and the earth, and the difference of your languages and colours. verily, in that are indeed signs for men of sound knowledge." Qu'ran
www.suntoumana.blogspot.com |
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Santanfara
3460 Posts |
Posted - 09 Aug 2007 : 17:48:12
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eve , one final slot on this one .i don't want to islamise every topic but i just want to state the condition that most exist for one to be capable to marry .
1. both the man and woman most be of mature age .
2. the man most be able to provide reasonable providence for the family e.g a house for the wife ,clothing ,able to provide food ,etc.
3. the man most be able to pay a dauwry to the wife ,this can be any thing that the wive will accept .
4. the parties most consent to the marriage and the family and relatives most also be aware the marriage celebration .marriage cannot held just between husband and wife ,people most be aware of the relationship it cannot be secretive .
i have withness a case where my friend a man from kiyan is living with a young britsih lady .i advice the man for him to marry the lady but they where not ready for registry marriage. i explain the option to them they can marry in the islamic way ,whereby the parents of the girl will be invited and the man friends and relative or some one to deputise for him .after he discussed the matter with the lady and her parents they end up aggreeing to the proposal .they are now islamicaly married .later they can register the marriage .
the lady is from midlands Rugby.the man gave her an amount of money and some jewry as the daury .they have a daughter and the lady is pregnant again .
the reason i narrate this story is to simply illustrate how easy it is to avoid fornication.it is difficult to keep apart two people that love each other . |
Surah- Ar-Rum 30-22
"And among His signs is the creation of heavens and the earth, and the difference of your languages and colours. verily, in that are indeed signs for men of sound knowledge." Qu'ran
www.suntoumana.blogspot.com |
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jambo
3300 Posts |
Posted - 09 Aug 2007 : 19:26:17
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Eve, what is your concern, the age of the couple or the fact that they are stil in education, What can yu do to stop it, if you want to .
For me it is not about age, but mental attitude, also can he support her, and will she finish her ful educational talents, is she going to college, university, this would be my barrier to the marriage. Let them both fulfill their educational barriers.
santanfara, question when will they be ready for a register marriage[ |
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Eve
Gambia
344 Posts |
Posted - 09 Aug 2007 : 21:09:57
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well my concern in this is that, i want good for both of them, not mental attitude, thanks jambo, i prefer they both finish her education, and find to do something for themselves in their life, the boy is living with his parents that they are supporting him, like while my sister 2, now when they get married, what will happen, my sister go to live in his family and his family support them both or they coming to live in my family and we support them?
If we want to talk about island law, the man should be able to support his wife 2. |
gambian |
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Eve
Gambia
344 Posts |
Posted - 09 Aug 2007 : 21:15:41
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quote:
Originally posted by serenata
Eve, I don't see a problem as long as they don't have children before they finish school/training/university and have their own money.
Nobody can't say that, if u joint two people together, they can keep themselves until they finish their schooling to have children, am not sure of that, as they get marry, the door is open. |
gambian |
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jambo
3300 Posts |
Posted - 10 Aug 2007 : 13:32:47
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| good points, eve, but they will have to live somewhere, it seems to me most coupls in gambia, live with inlaws somewhere along the line. i hope they marry for love and not for someone to look after his parents, which is something i see in Gambia. |
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