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inez
279 Posts |
 Posted - 09 Feb 2007 : 23:40:12
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maybe this should be a new topic but what about the tradition that makes widow to marry the late husbands brother? and how soon do you think is ok to start talking about it after the husband dies?
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Momodou
Denmark
11829 Posts |
Posted - 10 Feb 2007 : 14:32:48
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quote:
Originally posted by inez
maybe this should be a new topic but what about the tradition that makes widow to marry the late husbands brother? and how soon do you think is ok to start talking about it after the husband dies?
The topic has been extensively discussed here: http://www.gambia.dk/forums/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=1219
Usually it helps to use the search link above. |
A clear conscience fears no accusation - proverb from Sierra Leone |
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inez
279 Posts |
Posted - 11 Feb 2007 : 02:37:59
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| Thanks for your advice Momodou but I think you just want to put on more wood on the fire...The reason why I asked about the widows is that I have recently seen this to happen to someone I know and would like to know how common it is. This girl was married and had a child with her husband. Husband dies and just 2 months later his family started talking about how she should marry his brother...she did not want that, she wanted to go back to her parents. Her mother told her no, she told that girl to go back and marry the brother since she belonged to his family now...The father started looking for new husband for his daughter and found one who was older than the father himself...one with 3 wifes allready...her brother stopped this and now is my job to find her a husband!!! He and his sister asked me to do that...I donīt know what their parents say about that...but how can I find her a good husband and Iīm still struggeling to find myself a one!!!Please Momodou, can you advise me on this to, I donīt know where to search...hahaaa |
Edited by - inez on 11 Feb 2007 17:43:38 |
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Santanfara
3460 Posts |
Posted - 11 Feb 2007 : 20:47:19
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Interesting inez , the lady should not be forced to marry the brother . that is wrong . it's mainly cultural and also conveneince for the woman but only if she aggree . the other reason some do that is to let the chids stay in their father home with the mother considering the fact that the father stays in a family home not his private home.
my mother refuse such arrangement when my father passed away but then my father own his home ,so my mother stays at the home without any trouble from busy bodies ,but then santanfara wouldn't allow any body to bother my mum . |
Surah- Ar-Rum 30-22
"And among His signs is the creation of heavens and the earth, and the difference of your languages and colours. verily, in that are indeed signs for men of sound knowledge." Qu'ran
www.suntoumana.blogspot.com |
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Momodou
Denmark
11829 Posts |
Posted - 11 Feb 2007 : 20:57:26
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quote:
Originally posted by inez
Thanks for your advice Momodou but I think you just want to put on more wood on the fire...........
I thought you could find the answers to your enquiry there but "to put on more wood on the fire" has never come across my mind. Don't you agree that this new topic you started is almost identical to the one I referred you to?
However, my opinion is that the lady should not be forced to marry anyone she doesn't like. |
A clear conscience fears no accusation - proverb from Sierra Leone |
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kondorong
Gambia
4380 Posts |
Posted - 12 Feb 2007 : 18:36:38
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Traditionally speaking, you cannot approach a woman who has lost her husband until after three months and 10 days. That is the grieving period and after that she is free to go on her life as normal.
There are reasons for that. Secondly, a woman who is about to enter into a second marriage has every right to choose her husband and family cannot put pressure on her. She is free to choose. It does not matter if the first marriage ended through diovorce or death. Either way she is free to choose for herself.
By the way there is nothing called wife inheritance. Wives are not willed by their husbands and i find it offensive to use the term wife inheritance as though they are property.
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Momodou
Denmark
11829 Posts |
Posted - 12 Feb 2007 : 18:57:30
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quote:
Originally posted by kondorong
By the way there is nothing called wife inheritance. Wives are not willed by their husbands and i find it offensive to use the term wife inheritance as though they are property.
The topic was split from another discussion. Sorry, the subject title is now changed. |
A clear conscience fears no accusation - proverb from Sierra Leone |
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kondorong
Gambia
4380 Posts |
Posted - 12 Feb 2007 : 19:03:45
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Good that the title is changed. The reason why families want their brothers wives to stay is to protect her and her children. In Gambia we dont have half brothers or aunties. They are all brothers and mothers.
It stems form the deep rooted culture of caring for ones neighbor and keeping family together takes precedent over anything even if it means struggling hard to feed them. Every brother is happy that he took care of his brothers family.
Rememeber social security is very new in our society and family is the support one has. I think to outsiders, this issue is always taken out of context with contempt sometimes. |
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Lily
United Kingdom
422 Posts |
Posted - 12 Feb 2007 : 19:17:11
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| Not always taken out of context; sometimes perhaps. |
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kondorong
Gambia
4380 Posts |
Posted - 12 Feb 2007 : 20:46:21
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| Whatever. BAA BULA JULO LA, JULO BULA BAA LA |
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 12 Feb 2007 : 21:33:19
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My guide has a rich uncle. He doesnt take care of his brothers family. He ignores their requests.
He is a business man and has his own family to support. So in Kombos perhaps times are changing?
In the villages I have met several widowed women who have married their husbands brother. They may be able to choose, but in reality if they want to eat do they have a REAL choice?
I presume the reason for the time gap Kondorong speaks about is so that any children born by the women wont have disputed paternity. i.e. It will be clear if the child belongs to the dead husband or a new partner.
Alot of such traditions have a very practical reason and therefore I respect them 100%.
BUT women should ALWAYS have a voice to make their own decisions. Action Aid are doing alot of work in Gambia to make that possible. |
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kondorong
Gambia
4380 Posts |
Posted - 12 Feb 2007 : 21:39:04
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Rememeber that it was just in 1920 that women could could vote even in the west when Africa had powerful queens during Biblical times.
REAL choice as you wrote hardly exists anywhere. Even the presumption of innocent until proven guilty has an underlined presumption of guilt in the first place for a prosecution to try someone in court.
Everything is relative and not REAL. EVEN ABRAHAM LINCOLN ONCE SUSPENDED HERBEAS CORPUS. |
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toubab1020
12314 Posts |
Posted - 12 Feb 2007 : 23:01:41
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quote:
Originally posted by kondorong
Rememeber that it was just in 1920 that women could could vote even in the west when Africa had powerful queens during Biblical times.
REAL choice as you wrote hardly exists anywhere. Even the presumption of innocent until proven guilty has an underlined presumption of guilt in the first place for a prosecution to try someone in court.
Everything is relative and not REAL. EVEN ABRAHAM LINCOLN ONCE SUSPENDED HERBEAS CORPUS.
KONS.I applaud you for a very serious posting it deserves to be quoted often. |
"Simple is good" & I strongly dislike politics. You cannot defend the indefensible.
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kondorong
Gambia
4380 Posts |
Posted - 12 Feb 2007 : 23:19:21
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Tobaba1020
You are very funny. Are you pulling my legs?
I am so unimportant to be quoted by anyone. I am not sure if Gambians know where Yoro Bawol is located. |
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toubab1020
12314 Posts |
Posted - 12 Feb 2007 : 23:31:51
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No, Not at all Bro. I must admit though I dont know where Yoro Bawol is !
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"Simple is good" & I strongly dislike politics. You cannot defend the indefensible.
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kondorong
Gambia
4380 Posts |
Posted - 12 Feb 2007 : 23:38:48
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quote:
Originally posted by toubab1020
No, Not at all Bro. I must admit though I dont know where Yoro Bawol is !
May be only you. The government forgets if we really exist. We are not on the Gambian map unfortunately. |
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