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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
 Posted - 14 Dec 2006 : 21:41:24
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I didnt PRESUME, I asked the question. No one answered. If you are 24 and your bloke is 27 that is less of a problem. There are still cultural and religious issues.
All I say is go in with eyes wide open! I wish you good luck! |
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bobbyh
United Kingdom
7 Posts |
Posted - 14 Dec 2006 : 21:54:00
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| gambiabev, why are so Sceptical and i thought u were a humanist..some people end up marrying nad are happy, marriage is work and if people decide to get married,whatever cross cultural/national/racial or age difference...who are we to judge. |
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anna
Netherlands
730 Posts |
Posted - 14 Dec 2006 : 22:21:22
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Bev, throughout this topic you have been very judgmental. Even if you are a teacher during the day, you don't have to be one 24/7. I was vexed with your first reaction to Bobbyh's request for information concerning procedures when getting married in the Gambia. Why come up with all these questions that make it clear from the start you think Bobbyh cannot be anything but a naive person, not knowing what she is in for?
If you yourself are uncertain about your relationship with your Senegalese friend, start another topic - all this has nothing to do with Bobbyh's request. And why should the chances for a happy marriage be better when two people are in their twenties? Is there ever any guarantee?
Just wishing them good luck would have been enough, since you do not have the answers to Bobbyh's questions. I don't have them either, so i stayed out of this discussion. But now you are making this too much, you seem to want to keep on warning until the bitter end.
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When an old African dies, it is as if a whole library has burnt down.
Amadou Hampate Ba (Mali) |
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Santanfara
3460 Posts |
Posted - 15 Dec 2006 : 07:34:48
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| BOBBHY. i married two years ago.but the process is still similar. tell your partner to go to the registry office in banjul and book a relevant day suitable for you. the authorities now a days don't want people coming with short notices. some say our president himself sign the certificate but i don't believe in that story.he is mad but he will rise above that .just tell your man to do a bit of ground work. it should be straight forward.good luck. |
Surah- Ar-Rum 30-22
"And among His signs is the creation of heavens and the earth, and the difference of your languages and colours. verily, in that are indeed signs for men of sound knowledge." Qu'ran
www.suntoumana.blogspot.com |
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 15 Dec 2006 : 08:07:36
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Life makes me cynical! I have heard lots of sad stories in Gambia of things not working out. |
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anna
Netherlands
730 Posts |
Posted - 15 Dec 2006 : 08:25:20
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How about in the UK or in Holland or wherever? Bev, don't allow yourself to become cynical. It's enough to be alert and observant and to listen carefully to your own inner voice. All over the place there are people trying to take advantage of others, and people who are willing to be taken advantage of.
Have to rush off to work now...
A good day to everybody, the Christmas holidays are only one week away. |
When an old African dies, it is as if a whole library has burnt down.
Amadou Hampate Ba (Mali) |
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 15 Dec 2006 : 14:43:07
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Bev, relax. There are no guarantees in life, if you love the guy then go ahead and marry him! You donīt have to question everything just follow your heart, if it wont work out then you can always get divorced... Look at the pro Liz Taylor, and all her men were non Gambians! 
I believe in living life to the fullest. Not to sit by and watch and later regret all that I didnīt do. Congrats to all you who are planning to get married!
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 15 Dec 2006 : 19:35:44
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So if I get married and it goes wrong I can blame you Babylon!!!
I am going to spend the week with him at new year. Going to spend an evening at footsteps ecolodge nr gunjur with him and my guide and his wife. They are going to check him out!!!!
He is lovely. Very excited about my trip, wants to take me to Dakar to meet the folks!!!!
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Lily
United Kingdom
422 Posts |
Posted - 15 Dec 2006 : 20:00:43
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Gambiabev:
Go, enjoy and have a great time. Marriage, I think, is not necessarily necessary (!) for a happy relationship and if it's working the way that it is then perhaps that's the best approach. Am also going over New Year and looking forward to Tobski as well.... |
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 15 Dec 2006 : 20:20:26
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Marriage is necessary for him to stay in UK, or so I am lead to believe.
I can only go to Gambia twice a year because if the expense and because of work commitments. Its not much of a relationship if you only spend 3 or 4 weeks a year together! |
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anna
Netherlands
730 Posts |
Posted - 15 Dec 2006 : 22:50:18
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I don't think marriage is necessary. At least, it is not in Holland. After a lot of paperwork both here and in the Gambia, my partner came to live with me and he got a permit, a social security number and within 8 months he had a fulltime job. We are not married, i have been married before and i think once is enough.
It is also a good idea to first invite him for a holiday to the UK, he has to obtain a tourist visa for that. In this way, he could see if he will like it in your country and you can introduce him to you family and friends (and at the same time see if you feel at ease with him in their company). It is very nice to show someone around and i found i saw my own country with 'new' eyes, appreciating it more. But then, you already told us that you LOVE England. In Holland a tourist visa is valid for 3 months, plenty of opportunity to see if he can find his way. |
When an old African dies, it is as if a whole library has burnt down.
Amadou Hampate Ba (Mali) |
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 15 Dec 2006 : 23:20:31
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I havent tried for a visa for 'my man', but when I tried for my Gambian guide, he was refused because he was young and poor, they didnt believe he will come back to Gambia. I think the same would apply to my guy. The only difference is he has a son and a job. Do you think that is enough?
I dont really want to get married again. I have been there, done that! i have no intention of having more children,even if I could.
But I would like my man to be free to travel to england when I cant be in Gambia. Between us both travelling we could spend several months each year together. Do you think that would be allowed?! |
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kondorong
Gambia
4380 Posts |
Posted - 15 Dec 2006 : 23:41:59
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quote:
Originally posted by gambiabev
I havent tried for a visa for 'my man', but when I tried for my Gambian guide, he was refused because he was young and poor, they didnt believe he will come back to Gambia. I think the same would apply to my guy. The only difference is he has a son and a job. Do you think that is enough?
I dont really want to get married again. I have been there, done that! i have no intention of having more children,even if I could.
But I would like my man to be free to travel to england when I cant be in Gambia. Between us both travelling we could spend several months each year together. Do you think that would be allowed?!
I think the consular officer is the best person for this question and perhaps visiting the embassy might help you know what is expected for him to travel over.
In Africa, having a property like a descent house with a title deed is a big deal to be able to travel and also being married with children. These indicate that you have a reason or a tie to your country of origin and will certainly go back. |
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sab
United Kingdom
912 Posts |
Posted - 16 Dec 2006 : 00:04:55
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Gambiabev, marriage is not an automatic right to a settlement visa. The husband or wife still have to apply to The British High Commissioner. Plus ALL YOUR information must be detailed on the form - incl.divorce reference numbers & details - it leaves nothing to secret.
New Immigration Rules apply from 1st Jan 2007.
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The world would be a poorer place if it was peopled by children whose parents risked nothing in the cause of social justice, for fear of personal loss. (Joe Slovo - African revolutionary) |
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Lily
United Kingdom
422 Posts |
Posted - 17 Dec 2006 : 10:53:37
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Gambiabev
Getting a visa can depend on what he asks for - or how he puts his request. For example, to visit you may not be a grantable reason (sorry!). But to go to college to do a course, maybe. Especially if he has commitments back in The Gambia and he can convince them that this is for study.
You could try this - go to your local FE college and see what evening courses they have starting in january. Pick one and then fill out an application form for him. You may be able to pay a Ģ10 deposit with the balance due if he gets his visa (most colleges do this if you explain the situation - he needs evidence of the course, before he can apply for the visa). Take the form with you to The Gambia. Then get him to apply for a student visa with evidence that he has a place on a course guaranteed.... and that someone (you) will pay his flight and accommodation (a nicely worded letter. Sorry, but you also have to give a photocopy of your bank statement...)
One other point - don't go with him when he goes to the High Commission. And who knows - he may even get to go to College too! |
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