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Alhassan
Sweden
813 Posts |
 Posted - 03 Aug 2006 : 12:39:17
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quote:
Originally posted by Janky
Babylon, What you said is true I am jealous and this is because of very bad past relationships. I have no reason whatsoever to not trust my husband so I am too trying to control my jealousy and like myself better, but I do feel that he is getting a little jealous of the way I am losing weight nad changing, more independant,confident etc.
Going away together is something I would like to do but he never gives me a answer when I ask so I can't do anymore regarding that.
I do think that my husband is good for me as I would never have had the confidence to drive, go back to college or anything. I have a lot to thank him for, I have already told him this.
Thanks guys I read the comments everyday so that I can take note of all the advice I have been given.I want my marriage to last, that is one thing I am sure on, I dont give up on anything that I want without a fight.
Janky,
You and your children together are the ones who should come first nowadays. All others are just parents and relatives.
Going hrough your postings about the problem, I just have some questions .
For how long did you know each other before you got married?
Was there any difficulties from any of your families in regard to your marrage?
How much is your age difference?
Are there any children?
Are both of you earning salaries?
Do you dress for other people or for yourself and your husband?
Sometimes we as marrige couples must learn to listen to eachother.
Being strong headed does not pay, you only regret afterwards.
Is there any thing he has rejected that you keep on going with? I do not mean to be a slave to him. I know there are many problems that arise in marrages here in Europe that we do not experience at all in the Gambia. Sometimes it is due to the fact that families expect you to do things you cannot. Their expectations are so high, that you would be working 15 hours a day to fullfill their wishes. In such cases things become very difficultfor both of you.
Things like this can land us into big problems.
I hope no hard feelings for my questions. I just look at my own situation, to ask the questions I asked. It is not easy to be a man here in Sweden. There is too much confrontation between the two genders. Nowadays there is even a feminist party to contest the next comming elections. I and my wife has deciaded not to listen to too much crap propaganda from these people.
As god has created us to be human beings, a woman shall always be a woman and a man a man. This is not the case in Sweden.
Babylon, you can say anything you want, but this is my and my wives experience in Sweden |
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 03 Aug 2006 : 13:02:44
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| Alhassan, is your wife african or european? If african, how long have she stayed in Sweden? |
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LEMON TIME
Afghanistan
1295 Posts |
Posted - 03 Aug 2006 : 13:22:14
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| WHAT ARE YOU GETTING AT BABYLON. |
There is no god but Allah |
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jambo
3300 Posts |
Posted - 03 Aug 2006 : 13:23:38
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Lemon time, behave,
babylon this avatar, who are you trying to capture and who do you want to walk the plank. |
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 03 Aug 2006 : 13:33:41
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But I like the avatar, I saw Pirates of the Carribean recently...
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jambo
3300 Posts |
Posted - 03 Aug 2006 : 13:34:42
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Janky,
you have been given a lot of good advice, take time for yourself, i did suggest that you go away a holiday, but with the bank holiday coming up, maybe you should have an away day with your children because what ever decision you make affects them.
regards |
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Alhassan
Sweden
813 Posts |
Posted - 03 Aug 2006 : 13:36:02
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quote:
Originally posted by Babylon
Alhassan, is your wife african or european? If african, how long have she stayed in Sweden?
My wife is African and have been here for atleast 20 years. We have been able to sort out values that we found in Sweden that would break our marrige. There are good values in Sweden that we keep too. We have been married for years nowadays and hope to be in the feature. We do have differences sometimes, but we work hard to solve them together. There are no marrages that work for 100% all the time. It goes up and down. It is a compromise too. Each of you must have to go half way to make things right. That is my idea of marrage.
Although we divorce, we dont marry like people do in Europe do sometimes. Our famalies negiotate before marrage. We dont runaway to get married and then inform our famalies and friends afterwards.
I am not against mixed cultural marrages. But before we do we must learn to know eachother so as to make the marrage last. I have seen very nasty divorces here that I don't even wish my enemy to go through. |
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 03 Aug 2006 : 13:45:00
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| I agree with what you say Alhassan. |
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Alhassan
Sweden
813 Posts |
Posted - 03 Aug 2006 : 13:58:15
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quote:
Originally posted by Babylon
I agree with what you say Alhassan.
Babylon,
I wish you all sisters a success in your marrages. We pray to god that they would last long. |
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 03 Aug 2006 : 18:09:13
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| Thank you very much Alhassan! |
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jambo
3300 Posts |
Posted - 04 Aug 2006 : 12:04:34
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| Janky, are you okay |
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Janky
United Kingdom
92 Posts |
Posted - 04 Aug 2006 : 15:33:27
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Jambo, Thanks for asking but I am ok just maybe a little sad and stressed but other than that ok.
I do read what everyone says and it has made me think about things in a different light.
Alhassan, We had been together for 6 months before we got married.No-one was against the marriage at all, not family anyway. I found out recently that a so called friend of mine told him, the night before our wedding, that he didnt have to marry me if he didnt want to.He told her that if he didnt want to then he wouldnt but that he did want to marry me, thank god.
There is 4 years age difference between us and no we dont have children together.
We both work full time and most of the time share the housework etc.
Thanks jambo for asking if I was ok, nice to know that someone thinks about me. |
Janky |
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Janky
United Kingdom
92 Posts |
Posted - 04 Aug 2006 : 15:35:15
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| Jambo just out of curiosity - Which country do you live in? |
Janky |
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 04 Aug 2006 : 16:02:22
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6 months and then you got married? WOW!!! That's quick. 
One of my friends got married after a year and then the man turned out to be very different to what she thought. 12 months later they got divorced.
Why the rush? I would live together for a couple of years first and see how it goes.
Anyway, I hope you are ok. Try to keep positive.
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Janky
United Kingdom
92 Posts |
Posted - 04 Aug 2006 : 17:02:36
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| Even though we only was together for 6 months we have been married for 5 years |
Janky |
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