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sankahjang
USA
78 Posts |
 Posted - 04 May 2011 : 07:53:19
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An excerpt from a short story, "Making a Choice"
Making a Choice
As dumb as it is, I made the choice to dump my baby and now I cannot take my mind off of it. I was just fifteen years old, smart and determined to finish school. I had a background of poor but respectful and proud parents who both loved me so much. I was not the only child of my parents; I have an elder brother who is about five years older than me and a younger sister barely two years younger than I am. My brother was that many years before me because my mother was not able to have another child for some reason until she met a soothsayer that came from the east, my grandmother told me. My grandmother used to joke, that I was stubborn that’s why it took me so long to come. But my grandfather-he was my favorite-said it was my brother’s fault because he didn’t want my mother to have another child. Of course they all knew it was up to God to decide whether someone can have a child or not and how they are going to have it.
I was in grade nine when it happened-just few months before my final exams. On one Saturday, everyone in my home has gone to attend a naming ceremony in another town and they won’t come until Sunday. It was only me and my uncle-my mother’s younger brother of the same parents-who stayed. I didn’t go because I wanted to stay on my books. I greatly acknowledge the poor condition of my family and I pledged to be the one to pull them from the unwanted conditions we were living in. my family was so poor that we had only one major meal a day, mostly lunch. Every now and then my father-he was already over forty when I was born-would manage so that we could have dinner. My mother was not very old but she did not go to school so she could not be of much help to improving our conditions.
I have been doing very well in school and I was very excited about the grade nine exams that were coming. I knew I would pass it because I was prepared for it. My parents were so proud of me and were very supportive of my education. Many of my friends dropped out of school because their parents couldn’t afford the cost, but my parent were doing everything to make sure that I stay in school till I finish. Already my father was in a debt of about five thousand dalasi from our neighboring shop keeper.
I was not a pride for only my parents, but also my neighbors-my girlfriends’ mothers used to telling them to be like me. The encouragement I received from everyone made me so confident in myself and I was always among the first five students in my class whenever we did an exam or test.
I refused, anytime my friends asked me to go with them anywhere especially at night. I stayed home most of the time reading my books or chat with everyone on the platform in the middle of my home. The farthest I go at night is to my friend’s home, which is the other compound across the street from us. Of course when one of my friends’ families or my neighbors had an occasion, I go there at night, but even then I do not stay long.
I was totally not into boys. They are a bunch of fools that would ruin your life if you don’t look after yourself. At least the ones I knew were fools, most of them. They used to saying that I didn’t know myself, which was not true because if I didn’t know myself I would not protect myself from being like the ones they made pregnant. They tried me many times but I knew better not to allow them to destroy my life-two of my friends had to drop from school because of them.
It was such a profound shame for any family to have their daughter pregnant before marriage. It is also such a grave sin in the eyes of God. I knew my parents were very much concern about me and they didn’t even hide that from me. They both preached me daily about boys. I could tell they would die if I got pregnant by anyone other than my husband. Even my grandparents-though not as worried as my parents-told me I should not bring shame on them. It is a taboo to be in a relationship with the opposite sex except in marriage, so everyone does it in secret. That’s why when someone gets pregnant they would get so embarrassed that, they would not even like to be seen in the community. That is if people knew about the pregnancy. Many people destroy their pregnancy before it can be recognized by the naked eyes. I knew only one person who refused to abort her pregnancy even when her own mother wanted to help her end it.
As forbidden as it is to have sex before marriage, it is even a greater sin to abort a developing fetus. But in a society where everyone is more fearful of what people will think and say about you than the all-seeing God above, they will do anything to avoid being a talk of the town. No one would care about how you get pregnant and the least question they may ask before saying anything is whether you are married. If not, then you are a player, a prostitute and much worse, a mother of an illegitimate child. Who can stay with those sentiments against you in a society where people feel pride in backbiting others?
As stupid as it is, I made the choice to dump my own child. But why did I do that? No one ever asked. Everyone has made a prejudgment that I got the pregnancy from going after the penniless boys who hardly know themselves. They never asked whether it was possible for someone to get pregnant without consent. No one really care about how or why it happened or even how I felt about it. All they knew was that I was pregnant and has no husband and that made me a fool. I’m now classified into the black sheep of the families, the one that bring no-good but shame to their families. I got so stressed and frustrated whenever I think about how I got the soul that was growing in me and what everyone else was saying about me. I became an outcast from my own family.
That Saturday night, I slept not even a minute of the night. I cried till the sun came out. I wished my mother came home so I could tell her what happened hoping there will be justice. It would have been a different feeling if in fact I consented to the act that would ruin my life. I was in my mother’s bed when she got back home the next evening and I was still crying. She thought I was sick and she was really not wrong. I was sick in my body and in my mind too. I just could not believe someone so closed to my mother as her biological brother would do such a heinous thing to me. He took advantage of the fact that no one but the two of us were home. He used to be my favorite uncle because he is very much into academic things like me. But since the very moment he poised to destroy my life, I hated him to a point that I cannot even describe. All I wished for him was the worst there can ever be in hell. But just to fast forward, I have now settled for the hope that God will do the justice that everyone, including my parents failed to do.
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sankalanka
270 Posts |
Posted - 04 May 2011 : 21:19:32
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Sankahjang, the story is interesting and nicely narrated, keep it up.
Sometimes you wonder how prevalent incestuous relationships exist in our society. But these are secrets that are usually buried deep within the families concern. To tell the story sometimes weigh heavily on the narrator, as their is always a degree of ambivalence whether it is the right thing to do.
I am still struggling whether to include or not, a narrative in one of my stories that involves a sexual act between two siblings; but it is not consensual, but rather forced by one sibling on the other. I am torn between the creative urge of writing something very sensational and emotive, against all the cultural sensibilities that would dictate otherwise. This is where the writer has to decide whether to censor oneself or not. Sometimes it could be a difficult choice.
Once gain, keep it up. |
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sankahjang
USA
78 Posts |
Posted - 05 May 2011 : 17:30:27
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Thank Sankalanka. Right, it is hard to make such choices between what you really want to convey to the reader and what you think will be acceptable by them. Especially writing about issues in our society is hard in the sense that many of these things are taboos and not normally talked about plus some are just normal things from the societies point of view so criticising them can make you an outsider. But we have to bring some of these things out some way some how.
As for the above story, like you say it happens and most commonly becasue our society frown over even a mere talk about them, everyone just tend to blame the girl without doing any investigattion. No wonder many of them dump or abbort which in itself is very controversal in the ethical and religious spot light. We need you writers to bring them to light so we can talk about them. |
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kiwi
Sweden
661 Posts |
Posted - 14 May 2011 : 16:25:59
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I would like to say that this story must be told. Too often, children are sexually abused - usually by someone close to them, someone they trust - and it happens everywhere. It happens also to boys. Usually the children are ashamed and says nothing, or they will not be believed. For girls who become pregnant the shame is a double shame.
It is obvious that the author of this story knows how to catch a reader, so please, go on. When will we be able to read the rest? Can´t wait.
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kiwi |
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