Polygamy
A rejoinder discuss by YJ
The topic as it way seem deserve a fair treatment. Polygamy would mean a man getting married to more than one wife by common law (tradition) or legal conditions. Its injection into society is either because of faith (as the rule of Allah swt in the Quran, stipulated up to four wives based on conditions of affordability, equal love, treatment etc...), traditional cultural beliefs or both. As believers, we cannot believe a part and disbelieve in a part thereof, and the sunnihs like Suntou will base theirs on this argument. Those of us in the west are already disadvantaged to participate for the simple fact that the rules of the land requires a man to have one wife and a woman to have one husband; such societies discourages both polyandry and polygamy on the basics that the practice is strictly not imaginable and contains superior tendencies over the opposite sex. Human rights activists like my good mentor Baldeh will base their large arguments on this, which is basically sympathy over the state of a woman being able to share while a man cannot. Either way, we cannot be wrong engaging one another in this widely sprouting topic, if not for intellectual maturity, as way of continuous enlightenment, even though a mutual consensus might not yield, because while the women activists/feminists will not give up on their stance, the believers of true Islam will not because of the Quranic stipulation.
The truth be told, Allah swt knows best why He instructed that verse, and such stipulation must not be challenged, but its understanding to suite our way of life must be given due diligence. Again, the truth be told, sharing a man is hard to imagine. At an age when women are fighting for both emancipation (as in the Copenhagen treaty) or just fighting to object man's "dominance" which over the ages only put women under inferior complexities and hardships, it is understandable why women or feminists would feel the way they do as a result of polygamous marriages, where some men has taken advantage of them in a number of ways and has constantly used cultural norms, religious stipulations or both to justify the excesses which came to define such relations. To that, we can only help to condemn it like any other wrong doing. Man's extreme dominance not only on women but other humans (animals in totality) must be put to strict check. We must harness equality. We must champion everyone's freedom, liberty and urge to be an independent being. To break these necklaces or chains of taming, we must seek to have a society where people have a right to be free, without having to be forced to do things against their own will, thus to say, a mutual consultation probably might yield good.
After we came this far, let us share the noted ones; Muhammad (PBUH) married more than one wife; Ibrahim (PBUH) married more than one wife; Suleiman (PBUH) married more than one wife; Dawda (PBUH) also did, etc…
English (Yusuf Ali):
[4:3 If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, Marry women of your choice, Two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice.] (Source: www.Islamiccity.com)
[English (Yusuf Ali):
4:129 Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women, even if it is your ardent desire: But turn not away (from a woman) altogether, so as to leave her (as it were) hanging (in the air). If ye come to a friendly understanding, and practice self- restraint, Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.] (Source: www.islamiccity.com)
In the conclusions, this is one of the hardest topics for me to weigh in, for the simple fact that it puts me in a funny situation, after being trapped in-between a western constitution and that of God. Of course that of Allah takes precedence in all conditions. If you ask me where I belong of the two debating groups, I will say both, in a sense I understand the activists' stand on this matter. I also understand the Sunnihs' stand on this matter. If I am to choose between the two, I hope I can get married to only one women, whom I can mutually be in love with, despite all the urges associated with humanity. Nonetheless, we will combine our individual opinions and the authentic quotation from the Quran to argue for or against this great debate, despite its complex nature. The truth though, there must be respect in any relationship. Neither the man nor the women should take advantage of the other. In a case, to where we agree with consensus that polygamy is endorsed by us, the man must live by all its stipulations, and where you can't live by the rules , please spare yourself from getting trapped into it. The century's joke, "one woman, one problem" is a buzz. To where we have decided to turn our backs to it, we must only do that based on the stipulations, not because we believe Allah's verse is inaccurate or lacking wisdom. It is worth mentioning that we've seen the practice work in some people. In others, it didn't. To those that disagree base on the counter verse 4:129, which seems to say that men cannot be "fair", it is within your thinking right to do that, but the right you don't have is saying 4:3 doesn't hold.
Note: Thanks to Maafanta and Sankanu for sparking the debate once again.
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Posted - 09 Oct 2009 : 22:43:57
