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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
 Posted - 07 Feb 2006 : 23:03:43
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If it is true love then it doesnt matter who pays for what. If a man truely loved me then I wouldnt mind paying for everything.
BUT noone wants to be used..... so if they are just using you to pay for stuff how do you tell the difference????? |
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 07 Feb 2006 : 23:17:08
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| Well, I must say it is very easy to use people who don´t know the difference between real love or abuse. Someone who love and respect you for real dont LET YOU pay all the bills, atleast not all the time. A man who loves you WANTS to take care of you. |
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 07 Feb 2006 : 23:25:14
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| Of course in the west that is easy to say...but in Gambia they may WANT to pay..but dont have the means...... |
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 07 Feb 2006 : 23:28:03
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| I truly believe those who love and respect themselves know how to pick the finest fRuits where ever they go... |
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 07 Feb 2006 : 23:34:17
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are the finest fruits those that can pay???? |
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 07 Feb 2006 : 23:41:36
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| Yep! never go for second best when it comes to men. It doesn´t all have to do with ca$h, but self respect and dignity. But some women seem to want another babyboy to take care of, instead of having a real man who´s on the same level. Wonder why? By the way, there are men with money in Gambia too. |
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 07 Feb 2006 : 23:50:22
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I am sure there are rich Gambian men...business men are the same the world over....
As tourists at the beach most people dont really get to meet them.
On my visits to villages I have only met people who are 'exisiting'...... they have no spare money. That doesnt make them less worthy people or less interesting or less adequate as a partner...as long as their love is genuine.
My problem is deciding if someone is after a meal ticket or is genuine...... I have just rejected someone because of such doubts. |
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 08 Feb 2006 : 00:53:13
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When I said "pick the finest fruits" I didn´t mean "pick the richest man" but to pick the one who you choose to be with very carefully. Being picky is a good thing, you should not settle for less and never let any man disrespect you. Every woman should know what´s best for them and Who is best for them and most of all: what they want in a relationship. If there is any doubt about a man I really believe you should trust your gut feeling, since it is often right. We have our instincts and we should trust them.
I would also like to say that even if you find Mr. Right there are no gurantees that it will last forever. Nothing is for granted. |
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 08 Feb 2006 : 09:02:15
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| Think I will become the first atheist nun! Life is alot less complicated without men !!! ................ But not as much fun either !!! |
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 08 Feb 2006 : 09:23:02
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| Yepp, agree on that. Sometimes we can´t live with or without them I guess. |
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Janky
United Kingdom
92 Posts |
Posted - 08 Feb 2006 : 11:34:48
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And there are all the envious people who could try to poison your relationship. Only yesterday a friend who recently married a man from Senegal told me that some of his friends started manoevres of this kind, telling him “Your wife should do this and that, your wife should buy this and that for you; look at XY, his French wife bought a compound (car, fridge…) for him”, and so on. But Europeans are not better - certain people will take great pleasure in telling you horrible stories like the ones you mentioned. Then smile, and follow your path...
Thanks so much for you comments.
My main problem has been friends telling me all the bad things...............like my friend whos husband has secretly married and had a child with his gambian wife, behind her back.
This sent a big big flow of bad thoughts in my head. I dont have children with my husband and I am living in fear that the same will happen to me.........I dont think I could cope with this.
How do I deal with this
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 08 Feb 2006 : 11:56:43
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You have to agree between you what is acceptable and what isnt. Then both stick to it. If you cant or he cant stick to what is agreed then get divorced.
You should really have sorted this BEFORE getting married.
Sorry that isnt very helpful!
In my experience some Gambian guys in their thirties, who cant afford to get married properly yet.......seem to see English women as a stop gap until they are old enough and rich enough to marry a Gambian women and have children. They will have a good time with you and then move on to the 'real' thing.
At least that would be my concern.........
Gambian guys that age are hitting on me all the time....... in england no one does......I dont suddenly become more attractive as a result of 6 hours on a plane.....so what is it?!!
There is ONE guy I think might be genuine....I cant decide whether to take the risk..................
Perhaps better not to go there? |
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 08 Feb 2006 : 14:49:19
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I know this may sound a bit childish to some of your ears but (if I was single) I would only consider to date a guy who:
¤ Live in my country or another European country
¤ Have papers
¤ Have a job
¤ Have an apartment
¤ Dress right
¤ Don´t smoke ganja all day long
¤ Tall and handsome
¤ Is respectful to women
¤ Don´t lie about everything
I have children, I´m a mother and I respect myself. I do not have time to waste on someone who I would have to sacrifice alot for.
Luckily, I am engaged someone who is all that I listed above so obviously I did not ask for too much. He is a good very good man who even takes care of my kids though they are not his. We are planning to have a new child together, planning to build a house in Africa -if not in Ivory Coast then in Senegal. We are planning to grow old together. I am very happy with this man. No more drama in my life. Love don´t have to be about pain and suffering. I have no worries in my head about him, because I trust him a 100%
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 08 Feb 2006 : 16:07:58
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| Thats great..wish you lots of happiness. |
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 08 Feb 2006 : 20:57:34
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| Thanx alot! |
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