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toubab1020 Posted - 06 Jan 2022 : 19:25:53



What matters and whatnots

By Batou Saidy on January 5, 2022

Not to put too fine a point, thereís a great deal of mystery that surrounds life and livelihood. And that great deal of mystery will continue to dupe a vast array of people albeit many others making it to the broad picture of awareness and comprehension under the same metrics.

Life isnít easy in banality. This is the reality. However, whenever a sensitive discourse about life pops up, we tend to differ in mentality. So this article is gonna expose to you some of the things that matter, whatnots and suchlike, of course in a thrilling fashion of sobriety in its entirety.

So untangling some of these mysteries, Iíve delved into my literary prowess to bring to you: What Matters and Whatnots. By the way, grabbing this opportunity to welcome 2022 in this is a literary gesture that I wanna take. So welcome to my show.

What we say and what we do

Inconsistency has always been manís problem since get-go. In fact, largely, man is a controversial being. Whether often launched towards pleasing or misleading others, in most occasions, what we say and what we do arenít in conformity. Whether you want to call that paranoia or reservedness, if the things one says and those they do arenít in harmony, there comes a leakage in consistency. Call it consistency leakage, but psychologically, thatís cognitive dissonance.

What we say and we do really matter. If one cannot guarantee their consistency for a while, it eventually succumbs people to start distrusting them. And trust is such that, itís so delicate that, itís hard to regain when lost. So thoroughly safeguarding this thin line between understanding and misunderstanding in this respect in indeed worthwhile.

Who we marry, what we tell them, and how we marry them

Marriage is a big decision. A somewhat decision of faith, trust and fulfilment, with aphrodisiac and carnal rewards. And oftentimes, conjugal rewards in progeny. Marriage is quite rewarding and fulfilling, but the manner in which we sometimes do it tends to defeat its purpose. How we marry, who we marry, and what we even tell them tends to either overdilute the happiness and purpose of our marriages, or overconcentrate them with nightmares and sans-intimacy. By and by, the marriage gets detached of attachment and commitment, love and intimacy.

Some of the things we tell the women we want to marry are at our own peril. This is why itís important to calibrate our emotions. You donít need to madly adjust yourselves just to impress them. If you donít satisfy what she looks for in a Mr. Right, accept that and move on. You canít beg for acceptance. Self-respect matters. Thereís a difference between proving oneís love and disrespecting oneself.

You canít promise her this entire world. The world isnít your property. Sheíll know what you have and what you can do when you eventually marry her. So allow things to flow naturally. Affection can then follow mutually.

By and large, the more you try to impress her, the more you may lose your footing. You may likely not achieve satisfaction, and her expectation bar can be exponentially raised that you may not even be able to contain it. So leave the impression part, lest youíll likely have yourself in the crosshairs with probably no loopholes.

We all have values that we uphold. Whatever yours are, the manner in which you marry is very important, at least to your very marriage. You know your standard in all measures and regards, so you must not succumb to demands thatíll break you. Family demands, demands from your wife-to-be, her family or society shouldnít coerce or duress you to launch a decision, be it financial or social, thatíll derail you sooner or later.

If youíre gonna take loan just to do a wedding, then you arenít ready for marriage yet. If youíre gonna struggle to even make ends meet after spending all your savings on your wedding, then youíre also not ready for marriage yet. So grow up. Be original. Be a real man. Do things the right way, but not the way people want you to do them.

If youíre able to establish that she meets and satisfies your values and preferences, you may marry her responsibly and reasonably, and say things that you can do, and are true. Then maybe, you can enjoy a lifetime of conjugal bliss donned in amorous flairs.

How we treat others

The way we treat others reflects the real image of ourselves. Truly, man is selfish, but that selfishness has degrees that are acceptable Ė like loving oneself more than anything else, or giving oneself the care one needs. But unlike not wanting anyone else to make it, or even making it higher than you, or not making it to your level or position. That would graduate one from selfishness to wickedness. So itís when we cross those boundaries that we start getting to the unacceptable range of selfishness.

It is important that we put our selfishness in check. We must not cross those extremes thatíll make everyone else less important or irrelevant. That would imply disdain and disregard. That would be narcissistic. And that would be bull****.

In life, almost everything is level by level. Weíve all started from somewhere in our various journeys to elsewhere. And along the way, weíve so far come across people, levels and situations. If youíre a boss today, remember that you were one time a subordinate. So treat your subordinates with due respect. You may never know what tomorrow holds. Evenly, this doesnít suppress the fact that subordinates should duly respect their bosses. And this is applicable at any level, be it societal, institutional, organizational, civil and suchlike.

Treat others properly so that you can also deserve a proper treatment in return. By and large, what goes around, comes around. And karma is the best revenge.

How we appear

Even though itís not good to judge one another, appearance is a famous recipe for judgement. Technically, people tend to judge others the way they appear to them. This is why appearance is very important.

You donít necessarily need to be in designers and trademarks, Christian Diors or Louis Vuittons, or even Nikes and Adidases, you just need to have them clean and smooth. In fact, we have different priorities. Very few people are interested in what you put on, but almost everyone pays attention to it by default any time you put on dirty or rough clothing. Iím not sure if Iím gonna talk about personal hygiene here. So take care of the way you appear, then you can deserve a fair judgement perhaps.

Who we call friends

Many of us fondly misconstrue friends for acquaintances. The varying depth, level of intimacy, trust, confidence and reliability are above and beyond in the former. Our friends are people that we mostly confide in. Theyíre our confidants and confidantes. Theyíre the people we feel such degree of comfort and trust in to speak to about sensitive and secretive matters. Theyíre mostly our sanctuaries.

Contrariwise, if you cannot discuss your sensitive matters with them, then maybe you should start realizing that itís not friendship, or probably not what you think it is. All the people that we sit down with, talk about trivial day to day issues, discuss football or politics, religion or business, are not our friends. We may be fond of them, but maybe theyíre merely our acquaintances instead.

This is not to incite reservedness or paranoia, but sometimes, itís good to know the people to trust or call friends. This is so because both salt and sugar are white. And sometimes, you cannot even differentiate the two by texture.

Batou Saidy is a Public Health Officer and a writer. Heís also a football fanatic and a Manchester United aficionado.

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